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Open Poetry #36
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GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought

0 posted 2005-10-27 02:20 AM



Soon I'll be 18.
I wonder,
will I make it?
Do I stand up tall enough?
I know that I am short. And my
eyes were never blue, or green.
I'm stuck somewhere,
that's inbetween.
And,
is there a place for that?
Am I too ugly,
or too fat,
or, too-cute,
like some orphan girl?
Am I myself,
and is that enough?

I am too soft, but I'm too mean,
why am I so inbetween?
Why am I not quite the best
and still so close to failure?

Seems, this ground is hard
but melts away
and will I make it
through the days,
that eat and ache
and burn away
my only dignity?
I plead!

I'm too ill, but I won't die,
and have I lived enough to cry,
about the way that feels?
Will they understand that
I am only what I am.
I'm not
anything
but this and
I am proud
but so
ashamed.



Hupomeno.

[This message has been edited by GG (10-27-2005 05:43 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 GG - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-10-27 02:30 AM


And you, my love, are so human, and so brave...it's difficult to write this deep.

tsk...there was a show, called "Six Feet Under" which has breathed it's last breath I fear, but this reminded me of an episode whereupon little sister Claire, begged her brother Nate to tell her--

"Is there something wrong with me?"

No sweetheart, there's not.

You are just wide open chakras and pores breathing and bleeding the pain and joy you feel all around (within) you.

(That accounts for the mood swings.)

Looking forward to II--you.

Love you lady.

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
2 posted 2005-10-27 06:11 AM


Sweet young woman. I have been worrying about you. So good to see you posting, I am at work and lately we have been told by new higher ups we are NOT to use the internet. But I had to chance it. Please know that you are not alone. You are special. You touch me. Take care of you for all of those who do love you and think of you. keep taking those great photos and writing like you do. You will arrive when the time comes and I will say,"I know this young woman". best to you. martyjo
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2005-10-27 08:21 AM


so good to see you here dear gal.  You are the best you that you can be and someone that we all love so very much.  I admire your strength and courage to purge and share the way that you do.  Thanks lady, and hugs.

live for today,
dream of the future,
and learn eternal truths from the past..

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2005-10-27 09:19 AM


Golden Girl, not only do you have the sensitive soul of a poet, you ARE a poet!

You have the gift of words and of expressing them so eloquently that your readers are brought into your world and feel what you feel. However, your readers see you through fairer eyes than you see yourself, Dear One.

I have a great deal of affection ~ and respect! ~ for you. Life has dealt you a difficult hand, but you will ultimately rise to the top of the deck.

It is my hope, that in time, you will come to see yourself through the eyes of your fellow Pipsters. You are beautiful, both within and without!

Hugs with love and affection,
Linda

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

5 posted 2005-10-27 09:57 AM


you write the most profound and deep of anyone I know, and if you are only 18 as this poem says, then I stand and applaud for you think deeper now than I do at 50...I always lived one day at a time and who I was was who I was for that day...and now...I see the harm in that...
the 'you' I see in this is beautiful

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2005-10-27 10:50 AM



Such a beautiful soul you are..

  ~Time has cast a spell on you,
   So you won't ever forget me.~

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
7 posted 2005-10-27 04:27 PM


Alyssa,

Okay, I persuaded myself I was really good. Took me years to realize how average I really am! But, no matter, I still like me. Nobody owns yourself worth so don't give it to them. It's yours. And from where I sit you have a lot of it. Yup there are challenges. Especially your health. Yet trials teach us so very much. Mostly I see your courage and honesty. Still I like everything I see. Hope you do to.


If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

[This message has been edited by Larry C (10-27-2005 09:21 PM).]

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2005-10-28 02:12 AM


"I'm too ill, but I won't die,
and have I lived enough to cry,
about the way that feels?
Will they understand that
I am only what I am.
I'm not
anything
but this and
I am proud
but so
ashamed."

Alyssa....many saints have suffered so....  I think you're just fine being who you are -- just wish you did not have such pain.  We all love you.  Very good writing of what is on your mind.  These are thoughts, some of them, that I remember having years ago.   ....jo

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2005-10-28 02:57 AM



"I am too soft, but I'm too mean,
why am I so inbetween?
Why am I not quite the best
and still so close to failure?"


and this...

"Will they understand that
I am only what I am.
I'm not
anything
but this and
I am proud
but so
ashamed."


Just, wow...

This touches a place deep inside...
I know this line of questioning...

and even as you write of the perceived 'flaws'...
the beauty of you shines through in your words...

This, and you, are lovely...




"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
10 posted 2005-10-29 10:57 PM


Wow! Thank you all so much. Hard not to cry at all your beautiful responses! Sorry I'm so slow, but I'm gonna try to give you all an individual reply over the next couple of days.

Again, wow. Anyone ever tell you all that you're AWESOME?

Always, Alyssa

Hupomeno.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2005-11-10 01:56 PM


I couldn't possibly say it better than Karen did...

this writing moved me.  You move me.  There is nothing in between about that.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

12 posted 2005-11-10 03:12 PM


you are so gifted, and to be stuck in the middle of everything is a good thing, cuz in bitterness one might go in the wrong direction, but you focus, study, and use your perception...

Know that your blessed and these words of yours will someday go down in the hearts of many many books.

Love to you dear heart and most beautiful girl

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