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Open Poetry #36
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2005-10-25 11:34 PM



From my Journals of Endless Winter
~~~~


{I wish you could see these again}

~
Maybe he is lonely tonight
his images speak of
ordinary things captured
in fields of light

I might, for a moment, hear
the tapping of his finger upon my soul
            its a delicate task remembering --
maybe in something I read or touch
or how the moon sleeps with  rain

I am interested in the space between -
how different  blue looks  falling from your eyes –

that one night winter will misread the sky

you know too

the gray    running along the scatter

It's true this is about love
the one thing you keep –

yet, turn the key once

& you cant keep any of it

I try, but do not seem to find
a place among this language

I will leave all doors open
to recall the simple equations
of my memory
wondering what sphere held us
~
it begins to rain

I should have started with that


~~**~~
The sound of silence calls,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream
The echo of our souls meet
~~**~~

© Copyright 2005 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
1 posted 2005-10-25 11:56 PM



"it begins to rain

I should have started with that"

......................

That's a very good ending.
This is something else
Out of the ordinary.

Again, very good.

John



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2005-10-26 12:02 PM


its a delicate task remembering --
maybe in something I read or touch
or how the moon sleeps with  rain

I am interested in the space between -
how different  blue looks  falling from your eyes –

that one night winter will misread the sky


you know too

the gray    running along the scatter

It's true this is about love
the one thing you keep –

yet, turn the key once

& you cant keep any of it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I needed to read you tonite...
for all the reasons you already know...



I try, but do not seem to find
a place among this language

~~~~~~~~

oh yes you do darlin poetess...
yessssss you do

aujussy wolf
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Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
3 posted 2005-10-26 12:24 PM


something about this one greeneyes
it really draws in the reader ...lots of
thought and beauty , one of your best
: )~ wolfy


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2005-10-26 09:22 AM


Sometimes we actually receive when we ask...I came to pip this morning hoping to see something from you...

"it begins to rain

I should have started with that"

and it far exceeded my expectations.     

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2005-10-26 09:27 AM


wondering what sphere held us


I ponder the same sometimes, but then, in my way of thinking believe, that not all those we meet are we meant to be with intimately, but, confuse the purpose of that meeting, by becoming infactuated by our needs....rushing into things, before we really get to know, the knowing, and it is there, and from the pain of loss, that we perhaps come to flower?  

Your amazing write, is preciously a thread of life, beading the very existance of poetry.  


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2005-10-26 09:31 AM


Your pen is simply enchanting Lauren..
I am held captivated as I read.

Love ya lady~

  ~Time has cast a spell on you,
   So you won't ever forget me.~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
7 posted 2005-10-26 11:36 AM


how different  blue looks  falling from your eyes


beautiful words~~

M

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
8 posted 2005-10-27 12:24 PM


Goodness, this is beautiful. Each line is worthy of pointing out and praising. I especially love the ending... although I wish I had more of it to read. Love it!

Always, Alyssa

Hupomeno.

Thomas119gold
Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708
Biloxi, MS (city by the sea)
9 posted 2005-10-27 09:45 AM


Two thumbs up

Interesting write

Tom

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
10 posted 2005-10-27 02:05 PM


echoes of each drop

    words which linger

  praise,

      fear,

        want ...

        need.


    listen to the rain from the start ...

    it will fill whats missing in the heart.

  CT

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

11 posted 2005-10-27 03:29 PM


mmmm..a beautiful piece ma'am... indeed...

a pleasure to read you again

Robert Frazier
Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014

12 posted 2005-10-27 06:06 PM


if you listen closely, you might hear
the tapping of this poem upon some heart.
you do have a way . . . no doubt.

Robert

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
13 posted 2005-10-28 01:09 AM


"I try, but do not seem to find
a place among this language

I will leave all doors open
to recall the simple equations
of my memory
wondering what sphere held us
~
it begins to rain

I should have started with that"


ahha Lauren, I love reading you.
this is fantastic...

garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
14 posted 2005-10-28 01:57 AM


Lauren, I would so love to have a book of your poetry.
When are you going to make that jounal into
a book, Sweetie?
Be sure to let me know!! I would never tire of reading you.
Hugs,
Ethel

JesusChristPose
Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777
Pittsburgh, Pa
15 posted 2005-10-28 07:51 PM


"I am interested in the space between -
how different  blue looks  falling from your eyes –"


This went straight to my heart... and mind.



Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
16 posted 2005-10-28 09:46 PM


You most assuredly have not lost your poetic
touch!!  Nice one..

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
17 posted 2005-10-31 02:39 AM


I'd say yes, it's a very safe bet that he's lonely....and yes too, you were right to start with that (which of course you know).....I do like that way of enclosing things and bringing the reader's thoughts back to the start -- very original!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
18 posted 2005-11-01 03:27 PM


Lauren,

Too many beautiful lines to point out. As
always your writing touches me deep within
my soul. Hugs to you.

Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2005-11-01 05:11 PM


love to all thank you...


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