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Open Poetry #36
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No Promise Land
| Open Poetry #36 |
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No Promise Land |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida 
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This day breathes roughly Wincing at the annoyance of having to continue The breeze traces its cold fingers Down the spine of indifference Chilling what is left of my intentions Leaving me gasping at the unadulterated disappointment Of waking, yet again, in the same place A familiar emptiness filling the lungs Drowning the hope of a better tomorrow, a better life Replacing it with the searing of my own failings I just want it too all be right Waking up is getting harder I’m too tired to continue this fight Even the bed in which I lie mocks me With the absence of your smell Mocking with pretend motion of a time long gone And I hate you, this life and myself For not understanding the complete violation of believing In a time when things seemed perfect Knowing, feeling in my gut that perfection is nonexistent And I am a fool. The promise land is smirking at my ignorance Another life is squandered with the inability to learn Mistakes filling the blackboard of my schoolroom With no 500 word essays to rectify my misbehavior I am left to simmer in the juices of this life Until the next claims me and gives me the chance to make it Without mistaking your need of acceptance for love I just want to give up the fight Waking is too hard Nothing will ever be right "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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| © Copyright 2005 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I just want to give up the fight Waking is too hard Nothing will ever be right I often feel that way...and then  M |
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Constance Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393Ohio |
Perfectly put Susan. So heart-breakingly perfect. "Even the bed in which I lie mocks me With the absence of your smell Mocking with pretend motion of a time long gone And I hate you, this life and myself For not understanding the complete violation of believing In a time when things seemed perfect Knowing, feeling in my gut that perfection is nonexistent And I am a fool." I remember I slept on the couch, avoided the bed altogether and wore his shirt so that I could smell him. It was a glorious day when I was able to throw that shirt away---- There were better things down the road for me, and there are for you too. hugs, Constance |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this was raw emotion, at it's best...honest, bitters trying to pry open the mouth of peace and harmony...what a right/write. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This day breathes roughly Wincing at the annoyance of having to continue The breeze traces its cold fingers Down the spine of indifference Chilling what is left of my intentions Leaving me gasping at the unadulterated disappointment Of waking, yet again, in the same place A familiar emptiness filling the lungs Drowning the hope of a better tomorrow, a better life Replacing it with the searing of my own failings I just want it too all be right Waking up is getting harder I’m too tired to continue this fight feeling so very much of this with you at this moment dear Susan, for many reasons although maybe not the same as yours...but the same feeling.... sigh... hugs. live for today, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Susan, I just want to wrap my arms around you and comfort you. I have known this kind of pain and you have penned it well. "I just want it too all be right Waking up is getting harder" I’m too tired to continue this fight" ~ But we do... And our lives do have a way of turning around. Loving, healing, hugs, Linda |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"I just want to give up the fight Waking is too hard Nothing will ever be right" Sometimes it's not what's right that matters, but what is left.  (I'm tard too, but I felt qualified to type that.) Now give us a hug, and we'll do some ginseng and wait for the planets to change. Love ya suze.  |
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JesusChristPose Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777Pittsburgh, Pa |
Susan, Are you sure you didn't somehow read my mind? Talk about a mirror image of thought. Hitting it home... it is somewhat comforting to know that a person is not alone in feeling an almost same way. |
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Angelheart Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754Jacksonville,FL USA |
sounds sad in some areas, but yeah, once things change, things never go right, I know the feeling, thanks for sharing this, and keep up the good poetry. Poetry can get you very far |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Even the bed in which I lie mocks me With the absence of your smell ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ my oh my.... you aint neva lied. love the vocab, personifi and expression in this Susan... quite a powerful purge. Good to read you again groovy girl |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Thank you all so very much...  and Karen? This: "Sometimes it's not what's right that matters, but what is left" couldn't be more true...you are so wise. and I love you all! "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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