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Open Poetry #36
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ecrivan
Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923
my own state

0 posted 2005-10-15 09:16 PM


It starts with a thin slice of bread
sweetened to taste
well wishers around the table
ends with refreshments partied down
and a practiced birthday cable

another cut digs into spongy surface
salt sprinkled with sweat
a lady taken on an annual spin
short marriage keepsake on the wall
her lot in life kept from fall

well-wishers ate to hearts content
some days after the days of lent
started with thin slices then thicker
until a crowd around would bicker

celebrated lady cried to still
background noise raised to shrill
it was an exceptional event
to be another day older.

and likened to a slice of life
portioned to pick
sugar then salt sprinkled
to specific tastes
from a buttered knife.




[This message has been edited by ecrivan (10-16-2005 11:25 AM).]

© Copyright 2005 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved
wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
1 posted 2005-10-17 02:37 PM


a slice of life!


peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
2 posted 2005-10-19 03:38 AM


Certainly a well-written "slice".

Loved the flow, the balance.. the way it all fell together, precisely sliced

Pepper
"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again.  To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2005-10-19 04:11 AM


Liked the comparison very much!  *hugs*....jo
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2005-10-19 10:31 AM


Dear Writer, I am always intrigued by your vignettes. I find your overviews and perspectives on slices of life fascinating!


EA

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2005-10-19 10:49 AM


Me too, what Earth Angel said~~
M

wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
6 posted 2005-10-19 04:22 PM


Thanks for sharing your viewpoint slices


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