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Open Poetry #36
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Ratleader
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0 posted 2005-09-30 01:35 AM


Camelot

It's hard to breathe here.
The air stands heavy;
trees hold in the hanging
vapors of plowed
earth, and the moat
stinks through the summer,
especially after a siege.
Could we have known
then, tending our sheep
on the fallow downs,
how we would live,
and what we would
now trade for a day
of simple sunlight,
shining clouds, cold
sibilant wind and the
distant barking of a dog?




RP because someone asked

© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
darkling
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since 2001-08-28
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altered state of mind
1 posted 2005-09-30 01:36 AM


Have you ever been to Tintagel? The beginning of the poem reminds me of it. Such strong imagery, and precise language. Grr, now I want to go to England all over again.
Ratleader
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2 posted 2005-09-30 02:12 AM


Lostwithiel, as I remember it, from a long, long time ago.....Restormel Castle, or so I believe -- the memory and the castle match exactly -- but it really doesn't matter.

I called the poem Camelot for name recognition, though obviously it's not of the once-and-never-again king.

No, I've never been to England in my lifetime.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Margherita
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Eternity
3 posted 2005-09-30 04:36 AM


quote:
how we would live,
and what we would
now trade for a day
of simple sunlight,



To be aware of what it means! How insightful, dear Ratleader.

Love,
Margherita

Kit McCallum
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Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2005-09-30 06:22 AM


I love the "old world feel" that came across through your words and imagery, Ed. Very nicely penned.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Obsidian Snow
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Posts 88

5 posted 2005-09-30 10:13 AM


Enjoyed the travel.
Nightshade
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just out of reach
6 posted 2005-09-30 10:20 AM


Much enjoyed this longing piece.
hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

Martie
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California
7 posted 2005-09-30 11:02 AM


Ed

Your imagery is like a paint brush that can go back in time.  So well done!  

Huan Yi
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since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
8 posted 2005-09-30 11:11 AM



Excellent

Bravo

This is another I want, with your permission,
for my collection.

It's this moment of beauty and magnificence
that all our other no more than five finger exercises
are in hopeful anticipation of.

Randall Jarrell said that: “A poet is someone
who is always standing out in a storm in hopes
of being struck by lightning.  Should that happen
five of six times in his life he is considered a good poet,
a dozen or more, a great one.”

Again Bravo

I hope you weren’t too badly burned.

John



Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2005-09-30 11:27 AM


It's hard to breathe here.
The air stands heavy;
trees hold in the hanging
vapors of plowed
earth....

ED~ this is brilliant....and the image of the poem is wonderful, thanks for reposting this....

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands
~~**~~

Ratleader
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10 posted 2005-09-30 03:35 PM


Absolutely John....you make me proud and humble at the same moment. I've seen those poems of yours, and to think that even a single phrase of mine would be there among them......no words cover that feeling.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

suthern
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Louisiana
11 posted 2005-10-05 02:25 PM


To read this is to slip out of time... your words are so vivid they convey not just a picture... but the sounds and smells... and the gut-wrenching desperation that makes such simple things such important memories.

Absolutely superb!!

Midnitesun
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Gaia
12 posted 2005-10-05 09:06 PM


hey, leather head, this is a great write! You've transported me to another time and place, and I really really enjoyed the trip!
Sharksbean
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since 2005-09-25
Posts 368
jax
13 posted 2005-10-05 10:22 PM


awesome write thanks for sharing

-may the force be with you in poetry

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