navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » I Cry When I'm Angry
Open Poetry #36
Post A Reply Post New Topic I Cry When I'm Angry Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2005-09-28 08:00 PM



I Cry When I’m Angry

I cry when I’m angry,
each tear digs for spring
with curved and spiny flowers,
ever green.

Dear autumn, sing, come now stir;
danger clouds swift currents hold
on the memory of the sound
so laughter is blurred.

I open a cup under the stars first bright,
then hold on to the thunder, hold on to the light.

I believe in the harvest of this day.
The fruit is lolling on my lips
past the time of warm water
into the nip.

Confused, my day turns dark
and the threads of light at night
walk with purpose across my road,
stealing pieces of my dream I never owned.

I cry when I’m angry.
and it seems I cry all the time,
but I can’t name them, those hard rocks
that I throw down.
They are just litter now on any ground.

Soon in another life they’ll only be
sand under a foot that steps on part of me.


© Copyright 2005 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2005-09-28 08:08 PM


Martie,
I thought this to be so very boundless in it's honesty and in it's truth.  The ending brought concave the moan of the soul.
In reaching the depths of the rock, so does the sand grind out over time.
Many smiles your way,
TD

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
2 posted 2005-09-28 08:12 PM


Oh Martie, you have a gentle way of bringing me to tears with the honesty in each of your writings. Excellent. hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2005-09-28 09:55 PM


Excellent sweet Martie!
One day perhaps...teach me how..to do this
Congrats on your 23,000th post!
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile.~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2005-09-28 10:07 PM


Martie, a very expressive write.  I cry when I'm angry, too.  I especially liked the way you closed the poem.   ....jo
Bodger
Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260
Tolerance for a short time
5 posted 2005-09-28 10:25 PM


We are all ourselves no matter what we are

I always think of phrases

Those were'nt down there for dancing is one yet I escape from time to time and dance the night away

Bodger

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
6 posted 2005-09-28 10:40 PM


Anger passes, hurt passes....joy, sorrow, life itself pass. One thing remains, and you know what that is. Hold to it, dear lady, and you'll be ok.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
7 posted 2005-09-28 10:41 PM


.....psst!...and I like your punctuation!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2005-09-28 10:48 PM


"Confused, my day turns dark
and the threads of light at night
walk with purpose across my road,
stealing pieces of my dream I never owned."

the FEEL of the color blue
is in this write, in 3D

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
9 posted 2005-09-28 11:02 PM


tenderly touching
through the gravity
of your mood
and always elegant

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

10 posted 2005-09-28 11:08 PM


oh, a thud to the heart at the very end.
I always enjoy your writing.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
11 posted 2005-09-28 11:30 PM


"I cry when I’m angry,"

~ Dear Martie Flowers, I do as well.

"stealing pieces of my dream I never owned."

~ This really aches. I have experienced the sadness of this realization as well.

I think I'll fluff up my "wings" and head out your way! It'll be a loooooong trip, but I think you need some caring company right about now.

I'm on my way!

Linda xo

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2005-09-29 06:57 AM


Many days, your words hit home with me Martie. I love how your poems can be viewed from another person's perspective allowing them to take on it's own meaning. This made me ponder amongst my own thoughts this morning. Very much enjoyed this.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2005-09-29 07:20 AM


The strongest lines, of course,
were the punched lines...

but I can’t name them, those hard rocks
that I throw down.
They are just litter now on any ground.

Soon in another life they’ll only be
sand under a foot that steps on part of me.


I know the mood, the feeling, not always the why...but you must know...sissie, you are never alone!

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
14 posted 2005-09-29 08:31 AM


Lots to think about with this one, from harvested fruit to night light to your great close.
"but I can’t name them, those hard rocks
that I throw down.
They are just litter now on any ground.

Soon in another life they’ll only be
sand under a foot that steps on part of me."

You've found such elegant phrasing.  Well done.  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2005-09-29 09:40 AM


MartieSis~

You assault the senses, making me THINK !

'I open a cup under the stars first bright,
then hold on to the thunder, hold on to the light.'


I want to drink from your poetic 'cup'~

May *Huglets* hold you~

~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
16 posted 2005-09-29 11:21 AM


You write so beautifully, dear Martie.

Anger is bad, but as you say the rocks become sand ... and the tears I would say accelerate this process!

Love and hugs.
Margherita

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
17 posted 2005-09-29 12:26 PM




LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

18 posted 2005-09-29 12:43 PM


Martie, your a wonder to read and behold, thank you dear poetess for the greatness of this.  Hugs to you and yours...hope all is well...
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

19 posted 2005-09-29 01:06 PM


You just wrote a big part of me Marti...

yeah, I cry too, when I am angry....

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
20 posted 2005-09-29 02:10 PM


hmmm...I don't.  I get very, VERY calm.  Maybe your way is better?
Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980
Ca
21 posted 2005-09-29 04:03 PM


Martie
Your not alone, I do too.

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
22 posted 2005-09-29 04:22 PM


Martie, I am also a cryer when I get angry....
but I also cry when I'm so happy I could burst.
The happy feels so much better to me.

Sweet Martie, I hope and pray that you will
soon have the "happy" and joyful tears. You
so deserve them!!
Heart Hugs to you, (and some flowers for you, dear sweet lady)
Ethel


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
23 posted 2005-09-29 04:25 PM


Many times I'm inspired by music...this poem was inspired by Leonard Cohen's song, In My Secret Life.  He smiles, and I cry.  Thank you for your replies!!

"I smile when I’m angry.
I cheat and I lie.
I do what I have to do
To get by.
But I know what is wrong.
And I know what is right.
And I’d die for the truth
In My Secret Life."

StevenS
Senior Member
since 2005-09-21
Posts 945
L. A. (Lower Alabama)
24 posted 2005-09-29 05:53 PM


Beautiful song, beautiful poem, beautiful lady. Thanks Martie
Obsidian Snow
Member
since 2005-08-24
Posts 88

25 posted 2005-09-30 10:32 AM


and you write about it with grace of experience and understanding of self.
Brian James
Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg
26 posted 2005-10-01 05:31 PM


Martie,

It's been a while, but I'm glad I came back to visit.  Glad that I got the opportunity to read this poem... your poetry is normally so emotional, and often in a detached sort of way, but when you write more personally it really resonates to an extreme.  

As usual, your use of description is immaculate---everything corresponds to something else.  I have to start with the first stanza:
quote:
I cry when I’m angry,
each tear digs for spring
with curved and spiny flowers,
ever green.
Since you put so much into conflict here, I get the sense of a kind of terrible beauty---flowers "ever green" that we see are transformed into being "curved and spiny" (I'm aware many flowers are curved and spiny, but I also know you are intentionally drawing attention to the threatening, barbed-wire-like image of flowers that constrain or frighten).  The "greeness," I think, connotes a kind of childishness, as though every time you cry it's like the first time, or in some way a regression.  Giving "ever green" its own line helps to leave it open.
quote:
Dear autumn, sing, come now stir;
danger clouds swift currents hold
on the memory of the sound
so laughter is blurred.
I think that last line is one of the best expressions of nostalgia that I've read in a long time.  Your tears look for the spring, but you're trying to "stir" Autumn into singing.  I think you see Autumn, the end of Summer, and are sad for it---it's a neat use of apostrophe, to self-examine.  I know that you're fond of looking at nature as a mirror.
quote:
I open a cup under the stars first bright,
then hold on to the thunder, hold on to the light.
For the first time, I think, we see that it's night-time.  "Opening a cup" makes me wonder whether or not you have ever caught fireflies in a jar?  What you're doing here, again, seems childish---to try and capture the "light" or the "thunder."  

Autumn comes back here:
quote:
I believe in the harvest of this day.
The fruit is lolling on my lips
past the time of warm water
into the nip.
You've found optimism in recollection, I see now... holding onto the light allows you to approach the harvest.  At once you give the impression that this poem is about the value of memories.
quote:
Confused, my day turns dark
and the threads of light at night
walk with purpose across my road,
stealing pieces of my dream I never owned.
This is a somewhat positive spiritual understanding, and it reminds me of many poems I've read before.  The idea that the losses you mourn were never yours to begin with is a very old-fashioned form of poetic consolation, and I especially feel the force of it when you're applying it to "the harvest."  Your optimism is somewhat gloomy here, saying that they "walk with purpose," as to say that you can only be faithful that the purpose exists, even if you don't understand it yourself.

Now you finally return to the poem's title, more fully understood this time:
quote:
I cry when I’m angry.
and it seems I cry all the time,
but I can’t name them, those hard rocks
that I throw down.
They are just litter now on any ground.

Soon in another life they’ll only be
sand under a foot that steps on part of me.
I think you're talking about your tears here, calling them "hard rocks" and saying that you "throw" them again brings to mind the child having a tantrum, and the silliness with which children will punch and kick, attempting to inflict harm, but knowing that they cannot.  You give your tears a similar property, as though you wish you wouldn't cry when you're angry.  You "can't name them" because they come unwelcomed.

However, they're "parts of you," which you make explicit in the poem's closing line.  Every time you cry, something about you is lost---so, does crying make you feel better?  I'm having trouble understanding the ending, but I think I have a pretty good grasp of the rest of the poem.

Either way, it's a joy to read you after having so long neglected your writing.  I'm sorry that I've been a stranger for a while.

See you around.

Brian


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
27 posted 2005-10-01 06:55 PM


Thank you all for your replies.  Brian, I am always honored that you would take so much time for an in depth critique..thank you!!
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

28 posted 2005-10-08 06:39 PM


I open a cup under the stars first bright,
then hold on to the thunder, hold on to the light.

I believe in the harvest of this day.
The fruit is lolling on my lips
past the time of warm water
into the nip.

Confused, my day turns dark
and the threads of light at night
walk with purpose across my road,
stealing pieces of my dream I never owned.

I cry when I’m angry.
and it seems I cry all the time,
but I can’t name them, those hard rocks
that I throw down.
They are just litter now on any ground.

Soon in another life they’ll only be
sand under a foot that steps on part of me.


Wow!!!!! I want to write like you!

a

Honeysuckle

Mxx

~i want for myself your trembling~

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
29 posted 2005-10-16 09:14 AM


very powerful Martie - honest revelation of a wonderful poet - Paul
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » I Cry When I'm Angry

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary