How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #36 Archive
 Clayton Street
 1 2
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Clayton Street

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


0 posted 08-26-2005 11:38 AM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Huan Yi


What was it
About the woman
That made him sad

There in her high heel shoes
The surface of her hair
Just catching the morning light

For a moment it seemed
She was waiting for him

A lover
The wonder
Who filled her dreams

The star he knew
Would never arrive

© Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Eromyna
Member
since 11-29-2002
Posts 310
Pheonix, AZ, USA


1 posted 08-26-2005 11:48 AM       View Profile for Eromyna   Email Eromyna   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Eromyna

"For a moment it seemed
She was waiting for him

A lover
The wonder
Who filled her dreams"

I'm confused by the use of "her" in those lines. It seems the entire piece is written from one persepective, only to be flip-flopped for a single moment. This is very unclear to me.

It's only a tragedy after we bleed.
Your pain doesn't count 'til it's stained the sheets.

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


2 posted 04-26-2007 06:30 PM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz

good.***
Huan Yi will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #36 >> Clayton Street Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors