navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » leaving only time in day-dreams
Open Poetry #36
Post A Reply Post New Topic leaving only time in day-dreams Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2005-08-20 05:11 AM



the wintered throbbing is almost over
and my voice drowns in the rain
and the wind carries it
to far away places

what hope completes
bites the centre of my intentions
and closes the doors approaching
leaving only time in day-dreams

behind these high windows
my eyes are sightless
and the names of months between us
is all i hear, and the word...summer

it punches the air
and you, my fluttering monarch
determine the silence in the walls




~i want for myself your trembling~

© Copyright 2005 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2005-08-20 06:21 AM


Excellent.....

"what hope completes
bites the centre of my intentions.."

"it punches the air
and you, my fluttering monarch
determine the silence in the walls"

indeed...enjoyed

------------ice
    ><>

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2005-08-20 07:32 AM


beautifully awesome
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2005-08-20 07:35 AM


...and the names of months between us
is all i hear, and the word...summer

it punches the air
and you, my fluttering monarch
determine the silence in the walls...

~*~

You do a fine bit of punching, too!
Just wish you'd do it a bit more often!

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2005-08-20 10:10 AM


quote:
it punches the air
and you, my fluttering monarch
determine the silence in the walls



Sharing in this silent emotion through the beauty of your words.

Exquisite!

Love and hugs.
Margherita

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
5 posted 2005-08-20 10:16 AM


Dahm this is nice..... I love the way you move it internally, the verbs, the color words, the tones.....excellent work!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2005-08-20 11:15 AM


Maree

How lovely this is!!!  

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
7 posted 2005-08-20 11:31 AM


it punches the air
and you, my fluttering monarch
determine the silence in the walls''''


sigh....outstanding Maree....there is a deep feeling to this...

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2005-08-20 01:45 PM


Maree, this is bar none my favorite of all time of yours.  I am no poet but the wording you chose to get the picture across was simply outstanding.  (See I don't care if I look dumb, as long as you know I loved this!)
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2005-08-20 06:36 PM


Thank you everyone, I appreciate each one of you so very much Smile....

and Ms Sharon, don't let me hear you say again, that you're no poet..ya hear me lady!

Mxx

~i want for myself your trembling~

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
10 posted 2005-08-20 10:27 PM


sychronicity, words move the sky
you and your butterfly wings

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
11 posted 2005-08-21 10:23 AM


sometimes silence can be so vast, one eventually forgets how to speak...and oh how we all beg for summer (the rains have been falling for far too long)
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2005-08-21 02:44 PM


Good Lord and summer is almost over here . . . but the subtext caught my mood, as of late, quite well.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2005-08-23 01:39 AM


If my words could move the sky, I'd be where i'd want to be with a flick of my pen..if only, Thank you Ms Ink

Dawn Marie? "sometimes silence can be so vast, one eventually forgets how to speak"
Let's hope not eh? Thanks for popping in. e me

Suzie, oh i just can't wait for that hot seering sun lol now that it is cold heh. Thanks lil one

~i want for myself your trembling~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2005-08-23 10:48 AM


I give you your summer as I wait to embrace the cool, soothing winter.

Alright so winter isn't that bad here...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

15 posted 2005-08-23 03:35 PM


what hope completes
bites the centre of my intentions
and closes the doors approaching
leaving only time in day-dreams


Dream on Bella, my lil dreamer.
and may they all come true dear poetess.

yesterday is gone
tomorrow doesn't exist

Capricious
Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 89
California, USA
16 posted 2005-08-24 11:04 PM


Heh.  And to think I've been not-so-patiently waiting for winter.  

(Though I hear you folks have had a rough one this year ... *warm hugs and a bit of CA sunshine to you*)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
17 posted 2005-08-25 03:27 AM


what hope completes
bites the centre of my intentions
and closes the doors approaching
leaving only time in day-dreams


I closed that door a long time ago, even still,
you pack the prettiest punch, Ms. Maree~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
18 posted 2005-08-25 07:54 AM


mine (daydreams) are all highways

and a full tank of gas..

(shh..someone will mug me to steal it)

enjoyed this ms

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
19 posted 2005-08-25 11:11 AM


Your winter is racing across the world

Even as our summer fast travels toward you


As Susie says,
The bits underneath are pretty good too!


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2005-08-25 06:23 PM


Now tell me lovie, who is "poetica"?


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
21 posted 2005-08-28 01:24 AM


Enjoyed...James
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
22 posted 2005-08-29 03:52 PM


I have read this so many times now, and think its time i replied! though everyone has long quoted the outstanding beautiful ending lines. They are so strong, despite their lightweight-free feel.

Library, finally.

coyote
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077

23 posted 2005-09-15 10:16 PM


Always the poetess.....
simply amazing.

Billy 8)

"If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it."
Albert Einstein

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
24 posted 2005-11-23 12:04 PM


hugs
aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
25 posted 2005-11-23 02:26 PM


Summer Yessss , but the winter is just starting for poor lil wolfy ....help dark angel ...where is the sunshine baby
lol happy thanksgiving Howlls ~wolfy

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

26 posted 2005-11-30 04:56 PM


just cuz...I miss your words and your presence so damn much....

sigh Bella, even when its a re-read for me,
every word moves me..

c'mere...  

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
27 posted 2005-12-01 01:33 AM


"what hope completes
bites the centre of my intentions
and closes the doors approaching
leaving only time in day-dreams"

Awesome write, Maree!   ....jo

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » leaving only time in day-dreams

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary