navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » initiate encapsulate
Open Poetry #36
Post A Reply Post New Topic initiate encapsulate Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-08-20 12:16 PM


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

*   *   *

I see,
I am.
I thought
"I'm me."

I heard
I was mere chemistry

(oh-that-thought-was-too-linear
to be interesting...)


I smiled

I dipped my fingertip

into the smoky quartz expanse

I sipped

my tongue learned secret code

I laughed the gasp of universe

balanced in a juggled stance

(oh-I-see...) became the flow
as I cocked my head to side

initiate encapsulate

I, the instant graduate

lost myself in distribute
of rhythms of the weight

and I

became

aware as instrument

lost within the perfect glimpse

of water turned to wine.


*   *   *   *   *




© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2005-08-20 12:32 PM


"I, the instant graduate

lost myself in distribute
of rhythms of the weight

and I

became

aware as instrument

lost within the perfect glimpse

of water turned to wine."

Karen, you are a magician of the English language transforming words into insight.  Much enjoyed the juggling.   .....jojo

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2005-08-20 07:11 AM



­­Tarot, Tarot- how you fall---tells all!

Shows the two of Pentacles
Upright standing-balanced weights
Affront the "water turned to wine"

"I sipped
my tongue learned secret code
I laughed the gasp of universe
balanced in a juggled stance.."

Waves break
On shores of preoccupation
But here is shown a fond embrace
Of the Lord Of Harmonious Change
Who balances the pentagrams
So to clear away the fog,
Increasing clarity....

"and I
became
aware as instrument
lost within the perfect glimpse

Great write, my dear pipwitch.
I am glad the card fell upright
The poem would be much different,
Had it fell reversed...

--------------ice/ford
     ><>


­

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2005-08-20 07:51 AM


like i said, yer amazing

sweet dreams

mxx

~i want for myself your trembling~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2005-08-20 08:14 AM


serenity,
No matter the time the grime does phantomime. Enjoyed

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2005-08-20 08:59 AM


and I

became


Ok, so when I grow young?
Can I be more like you?



Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
6 posted 2005-08-20 10:29 AM


quote:
I laughed the gasp of universe



A stunning write. And we ARE that instrument!

Love and Joy.
Margherita

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
7 posted 2005-08-20 02:35 PM


This brings to mind a few other great literary efforts at overcoming solipsism, but I have to say that this is the first time I've seen it so effectively compressed into short verse form.  

The flow is so quick-stepping (in a "juggled stance" you could say) that you're almost making light of the cogito ergo sum epiphany (especially in that delightful first stanza).  

Your efforts to send across that fact that you are unwitting in this process (your use of the word "lost" and absurd juxtapositions such as "instant graduate") at first made me think that you're boasting a genius of some sort, but I now realize that (if anything of the sort) you are preaching a kind of universal humility by attributing your development to a sort of existential angst, or a clarity that's been revealed to you.  

You do take actions, I know.  The first stanza is entirely your actions, though "I heard" starts to move into a passive receptiveness, and your choice of words when you say "I dipped my fingertip" really helps to make the point that you are doing very little in the brief narrative of the poem, and that for the most part you are being acted upon, that you laugh as the universe gasps...

It took me a bit of thinking to really understand the last two lines, but now I think I've finally got it... tired of "secret code" and "rhythms of the weight," you learn a spiritual "becoming."  

I think I also see some cosmological imagery, when you say you dipped your finger into a dark expanse (the primordial?), the way one might imagine a kind of demiurge giving form to the formless void.  The way you put it, though, you are an infant creating an individual universe, lording over it, and eventually being overcome by it (and a sacrifice to it?).

Have you ever read The Phenomenology of Spirit by G.W.F. Hegel?  Check it out once you're done Faulkner.

Thanks for the brain activity, Serenity.  You're a constant joy.

Much love
Brian

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is."  ~William Blake

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
8 posted 2005-08-20 03:59 PM


I, the instant graduate

lost myself in distribute
of rhythms of the weight

and I

became

aware as instrument

lost within the perfect glimpse

of water turned to wine.


My God,I love Bri's CC's they make me think for darn near days!  They don't help me write better - just make me think clearer, like this poem did.  He is right as you are a constant joy!

Glad it landed right side up!  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2005-08-20 04:01 PM


pure excellence
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2005-08-20 04:50 PM


I am smiling silly here.

Thanks so much for reading this, as tarot is a course of study so dear to my heart, and I seldom feel like I can properly convey the meaning in words.

and *chuckling* here too

Ford? When I read, I tend to break the rules. I have my own spread, and like most folks who read tarot, I can't resist reading for myself.

As for any cards being in detriment? I have devised a method of creative visualization to amend such situations. (This means I cheat. )

I simply turn that bugger right side up and say "Oh no you will not!"

Tain't nothing but a warning or a bit of foreshadow anyhow. (Free will, yanno...grin, I tend to practice it alot)

and oh my dear buddy Brian, you peel me like an onion m'friend and glory gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you "get" it. And that is a constant joy for me!



Thanks for taking the time. I'm consistently humbled by the generosity of you all.

(now, back to Faulkner) *wink*

thanks friends

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2005-08-20 08:29 PM


you are a pill!
a welcome capsule of life

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
12 posted 2005-08-21 02:50 PM


what can I say after Bri up there?  
*grin* He IS amazing . . .

*laughing* at the cheating on the reading for yourself, sheesh, have the Sacred Circle here - maybe I should get it out and make a nice week for myself, eh?

This, Karen - sent me searching and you know I love that.  Thank you.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2005-08-22 10:32 AM


initiate encapsulate

I, the instant graduate

lost myself in distribute
of rhythms of the weight

and I

became

aware as instrument

lost within the perfect glimpse

of water turned to wine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is this secret code Tarot talk for you rock???  

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
14 posted 2005-08-22 11:50 AM


"I, the instant graduate"

.......grabbed me.


oh yes, and often a reluctant one.  dang it.

you are amazing...

Love you lady!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
15 posted 2005-08-22 12:05 PM


Yes, Karen, you are amazing.....both in your writing and
your life, Lady. And, like Sue, I loved the part in your
comment where you said you "cheat" on your reading of
the cards. "I simply turn that bugger right side up and say "Oh no you will not!"
I beleive like you, we have "free will". I like also that you
said it "Tain't nothing but a warning or a bit of foreshadow anyhow"
Like I said, you are amazing, Karen.

And, isn't that Brian something else, though?
He is such a genius!! And such a cutie-pie, too!!
Thanks for the privilege of reading you, Karen.
Hugs,
Ethel

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

16 posted 2005-08-22 12:34 PM


your experiences have brought you wisdom, and us...a library full of great enthusiasm for one special poetess...
spendid write my dear...as the tarot falls...

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
17 posted 2005-08-22 10:54 PM


What I once was I am no more.  I remember it, now buried in its watery grave.  I liked the flow though.

-GIS

Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes

JesusChristPose
Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777
Pittsburgh, Pa
18 posted 2005-08-23 05:52 PM


and I

became

aware as instrument

lost within the perfect glimpse

of water turned to wine.

~ That was my favorite part. Local Parasite's reply help me gain a better understanding of the meaning. Talk about making me think... wow. Cool!

"If this grand panaorama before me is what you call God... then God is not dead."

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

19 posted 2005-08-23 08:01 PM


*smile*

It's an energy thang...

and yanno? I don't really care for my title, either, but I kept it, because it sounds like a literal "title"--which was intended.

Love to you all.

And keep those chi balls flowing. (hmmm...chi balls? Oh the possibilities...)

Sounds like a recipe, or an arcade game. Or...or...well, maybe I won't go there.

Ya'll are so much fun, I do appreciate each and every one of you!

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx
20 posted 2005-08-24 12:33 PM


I didn't read the poem again, but your last reply, and wow, thats funny... enjoy your arcade game, lol.


-GIS

Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
21 posted 2005-08-24 05:20 PM


good read
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » initiate encapsulate

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary