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Open Poetry #36
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the thin lines, our mouths
| Open Poetry #36 |
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the thin lines, our mouths |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279
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these are the words, the last words sliding they are a small storm, or a large boulder too they are pinning themselves, and pinning themselves earnestly to the leaves and to the sea they are the braided buzz of late summer -- they are the evening when it is tired and you are asleep (and you used to sleep like this you used to swim in a dream or drown in this world) these, are the words when the side door squeals a small squeal when the side door says that we are between what was and what will soon be they are a story, some story, crawling low with the hum of the traffic with the hum of the stars and we, we are everything - and nothing surrounded by the great green shaded, the big black night that is never dark enough that is never full and filling they are the short prints of mid-august, we, are the short prints of the moon - the universe we are dangerous and terribly beautiful, let us begin again |
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| © Copyright 2005 Alicia - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"when the side door says that we are between what was and what will soon be" this is my favorite line good to read you this evening, Alicia |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"these, are the words when the side door squeals a small squeal when the side door says that we are between what was and what will soon be " Nodding. It's not the guesswork of what will be, but the WHEN. You wove a tight tension thread in the lines between the lines here. But I love the hope in your last lines: "we are dangerous and terribly beautiful, let us begin again" I actually felt the impact of the pain of confusion there-the prayer that the moment is a passing summer storm.  It is always a pleasure to read you. You tend to bring me visuals, unexpected. thanks lovie.  |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
You, m'friend...take my breath away, sighhh.  Mxx ~i want for myself your trembling~ |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
"they are a story, some story, crawling low with the hum of the traffic with the hum of the stars and we, we are everything - and nothing" A Zen touch...love it..... We are everywhere, but at the same time nowhere, "everything and nothing"... enjoyed -----------ice ><> |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Alicia... beautiful. The sound of it, amazing! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
they are a story, some story, crawling low with the hum of the traffic with the hum of the stars and we, we are everything - and nothing surrounded by the great green shaded, the big black night that is never dark enough that is never full and filling What I love best about your poetry is that I have to print it out and read it many times as I find you write with so many layers (either that or I make it complicated.) This was incredle! I see your name and know I am in for a poetic feast. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Alizia "we, are the short prints of the moon - the universe we are dangerous and terribly beautiful, let us begin again" Your usual wonderful read....thank you! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"with the hum of the stars and we, we are everything - and nothing" ~ you just BE... 'BE'eautiful!  Love & Light, EA |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
they are..too few. write more. please? |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Nodding and agreeeing with Raph.. more please? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
bump |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"they are the short prints of mid-august, we, are the short prints of the moon - the universe we are dangerous and terribly beautiful, let us begin again" Amazing write! Glad I got the chance to read it. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
oh Alicia, how i miss you, your words...you always have and still....collapse me. sighssss bump.. m xx how i would love you, love you as no one ever did! Die and still, love you more. And still love you more..and more |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
How did I miss this? This is the finest piece of writing I have read in a very long time. |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
This is very very good. My only issue is with "too" at the end of the second line. also: how about "what will be soon" instead of "what will soon be" Again I very much like the let loose sense of this John |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
sorry i missed this one.... chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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