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Open Poetry #36
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2005-08-17 12:23 PM



In their morning,
I have seen the women who are seals
swimming
to shore

A slender trail
through, the wave...
an azure wedding veil

Given limbs
they glide the land,
knowing
no other way to move

From depths I never
knew before

I have seen the women
who are seals

going to marry their fabled loves


© Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2005-08-17 12:49 PM


the first time i read this
i thought that line one read 'mourning'

lol
now i forgot what i was going to write
don't get mad, get even
just kidding, John

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2005-08-17 01:38 AM


"In their morning,
I have seen the women who are seals
swimming
to shore

A slender trail
through, the wave...
an azure wedding veil"

Oh brilliant imagery...just, perfect.

I wish i had written that

a

M

~i want for myself your trembling~

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
3 posted 2005-08-17 01:54 AM


On a scale of 1 to 10 - well, 10 of course!  Excellent writing!    
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2005-08-17 02:31 PM


enjoyed the imagery John
...the azure wedding veil

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
5 posted 2007-04-27 02:00 AM


as long as he is a seal.

enjoyed and quite an opinion on.

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