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Open Poetry #36
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| Open Poetry #36 |
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The Jumbled Poetry Challenge |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow 
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My heart is still beating for you though I've tried to force it to cease. My tears go unwept for I have not told you yet that I love you. For there is no chance that you'll accept me, my deformities, I am crushed beneath your extraordinary weight. I feel nothing but chaos without the thought I cannot speak this aloud..you are my loving burden and I yearn so completely to feel your warmth around me but we will never be... My feelings cannot form words they are weak and motionless, what I say in my intoxicated breath is nothing that my mind is conjuring. Everything is an illusion so many thoughts have evolved into something more, my body aches for your comforting words..... I've grown seperated from myself, time has healed and caused wounds, love has broken me into nothingness, I have become stuck and twisted about free and imprisoned by envy and... I want nothing from you but your silent approval for me to escape you... You say you understand my broken heart and abused love, you say it's all clear.. If I am not allowed to love you, or you me, what then will we do if we do? ... I am adrift upon the ocean, waiting for starvation and death, life becomes meaningless in the cold, desolate wind that surrounds me... Time becomes so negative that it cannot possibly exist, mirrors set deep into water tell me the future is bleak... I crossed your path once, a green and overflowing growth you've shown me life... Although I have made you silent, my worth cannot be summed in words. My mortality is buried within my heart, and this you know all too well. So you gather your powerful tools of persuasion, you lept within me to study my mechanics, only to rip me apart..... You've shown me death. In an act of desperation I conjured up the wind and blew you away... I know how much it hurts the slice and dice of continual dissatisfaction and manipulation... You've shown me what's fair. --- |
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| © Copyright 2005 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
so many good lines here...so much feeling and intensity loved this (and sending hugs) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The pain of potentially unrequited love has stricken me mute many many times as well. I felt this'n deep, and it reads as written in the ink of blood, sweat, and tears. and me being me, I find myself obsessing over the first two lines: "My heart is still beating for you though I've tried to force it to cease." as it reminds me of some Catholic-based symbolism that I've been fascinated with for some time. That would be the illustration of The Sacred Heart of Jesus, which is depicted as a heart with lines, emanating light from the center of his chest. There are some more mystical eastern-based beliefs which hold forth the premise that the mind can transform the body, and the simple additon of lines to the illustration of the heart of what I term, Rabbi Jesus, would indicate that he had transformed his heart from an involuntary muscle (which would be depicted as smooth, as it actually is) to the voluntary or striated muscle. Now I'm off an a whole nother tangent, which gave me quite a startling perspective on the rest of your poem. I had to re-think the whole thing. And I like that. Brava!  |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
The struggle of faultering love...OMG....you really express it well, Kaoru.  ......jo |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
So you gather your powerful tools of persuasion, you lept within me to study my mechanics, only to rip me apart..... geeze how do you do this...your an artist girl, to say the least... the emotions this provokes are outstanding...gritty, heartbreaking, yet, strength abides in every detail...yes, my poet friend, you can be with someone and know the abysis of lonliness.... Hugs to you, and thank you always for taking the time to write...there is much you have yet to say, much to do, and someday, those words will be words of beauty, I promise...as if they aren't now...sheesh...I walk away in awe of you... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"In an act of desperation I conjured up the wind and blew you away..." "You've shown me what's fair." Thoughts I can relate to all too well. Good to read you again. |
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