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Open Poetry #36
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iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA

0 posted 2005-08-15 02:10 AM


First draft ... one I will rework at a later date most probably.  


The Dyke was leaking,
breaking down,
waters flooding
wet the ground.
A babbling brook,
that's what you found
so you placed your finger so
sealing up the hole.
Keeping your finger on me
we found some serenity.
But you let your defenses down once
and the space between us freed,
removed the sweet containment,
and your power holding me.
My words gushed,
a wild, turbulent sea,
loquaciousness,
undammed,
unbridled me.

And then you yelled,
“S T I F L E    Y O U R S E L F ,  Edith!”
"I'm going to drown!"

Of course, I frowned,
knowing all the while
you had your reasons
for putting restraint on me.
The wall
was your safety net --
your way of remaining free,
your way of conserving resources,
and spending less, not indifference --
in an oddly way,
your temperance.
So, naturally,
the leak had to be plugged.

     ***

Thinking back
on that "sit-com,"
memories are
emotions strong.
Yet somewhere under gruff and bite
I felt your love,
old-fashioned kind,
that stuck like glue
through wrong and right,
that plugged the leak
that saved the Dyke.

Oh, those were the days,
when once you reached up
with your hand
to plug your finger in the dam.
You saved us both from bitter end
and hushed my rushing soul.

For that one moment,
we were the whole.

[This message has been edited by iliana (08-15-2005 09:58 PM).]

© Copyright 2005 J.A.A.Powell - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2005-08-15 07:33 AM



Man, does this one
ping-pong me around...

It was so nice
later in life
to find out
he had a heart!



Good one, SIL

Seymour Tabin
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Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2005-08-15 07:56 AM


iliana
Good write, enjoyed the read.

Marge Tindal
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3 posted 2005-08-15 09:08 AM


Jo~
What an adorable 'thinker' this morn~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2005-08-15 09:55 AM


Illana, this served well, many emotions, lined with an under lying look back into what once was...humor and a positive outlook, warms the face of this one...enjoyed.
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
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OH
5 posted 2005-08-15 09:39 PM


Lots of thought and wit went into the creation of this.  Very clever and nostalgic, Jo!  Love this write!  

miscellanea


Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
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Realms of Light
6 posted 2005-08-16 10:01 AM


Lily jo, your imagination, wit, and creativity went into over-drive with this whirlwind of a write! I think I'll head back for a second read in case I missed something! lol

You've just shown that a "hole" can be a "whole"! ~ at least I think you have!

You're a pet, my friend and you endear yourself to your readers with every write!

Loving you,
Linda


Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
7 posted 2005-08-16 10:32 AM


I think I'll do what Earth Angel did and go back for another read....Your words bring a very interesting vision to life...Wonderful writing that captivates your reader....*big hugs*

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
8 posted 2005-08-16 10:49 AM


enjoyed!
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2005-08-16 05:45 PM


I did not know how many would get the analogies in this one with Archie and Edith, but I figured people my general age would (if they watched TV in the US anyway)... and then I mentioned "The Little Boy and the Dyke" to my 25-year-old and she didn't know the story....couldn't believe it...thought for sure I had told her that one.  LOL

Thank you all for your posts and for taking the time to read this.   .....jo

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2005-08-16 05:51 PM


Not fair. When you had questions 'bout my poem--you phoned me.

*pout*



and I'll tell ya why I'm grinning when I talk to you!


iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
11 posted 2005-08-16 06:42 PM


Karen, thanks..........for the chat, too!
Professor Gloom
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since 2000-07-23
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of Depression
12 posted 2005-08-16 08:41 PM


And interesting poem.
Although I don’t think Archie would like
Being associated with a Dyke.
And he wasn’t a free flowing thinker either.
Still this shows that differences make unions possible
Not just similarities.
He had the chair to be comfortable in,
Even if he sat outside societies views.

Gloom

Martie
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13 posted 2005-08-16 10:50 PM


Joe...this is wonderful!  The humor and the sensitivity as you look back at life.  Very well done!!  
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
14 posted 2005-08-16 11:38 PM


Gandolf.....you are too funny!!  No, he probably wouldn't have remembered the story about the little boy and the dyke and would have interpreted the word the wrong way and then all He__ would have broken loose.  No, I don't think he was a free thinker either...but he did like being free....especially down at the old tavern with the "boys," as I recall.  This was an experiment mostly, combining two thoughts that came to me simultaneously, when someone close to me recently said, "Stifle yourself, Edith."  There are times, babble should be stifled, yes, there are some times.  And you, sir, know I can babble....lol!  Good to hear from you, friend.   ......jo
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
15 posted 2005-08-16 11:39 PM


Martie, thanks for your sweet comment!  Glad you liked it.  Somewhat of a challenge to get my meanings through, but I think most got it.   .....jo (no e please....lol)
Midnitesun
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Gaia
16 posted 2005-08-17 12:53 PM


"My words gushed,
a wild, turbulent sea,
loquaciousness,
undammed,
unbridled me."


ROTFL! I am laughing so hard at this part, I can't finish reading the rest of this!
I'll be back...

garysgirl
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17 posted 2005-08-17 01:15 AM


It's good to read you again, Jo.
I missed you.
Hugs,
MY LINKS
Ethel's Love Poetry
Ethel's Heart Poems
Ethel's Always List
My SpiritIsUp Poetry Shelf
Ethel's Creations


Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
18 posted 2005-08-17 01:50 AM


This is fantastic!  I hope you don't re-work it because you might dam up the flow that takes readers exactly where they're meant to go.  
iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
19 posted 2005-08-17 01:55 AM


I didn't know if you would be familiar with Archie & Edith, Helen.  Do you get that in S.Africa?  Or did you live here for awhile?  

Thanks for your encouragement.  If I rework it...it will on be for the cadence, a little...don't know if I will now or not...lol  Well, I think I will try to turn in early tonight and see what happens.  After reading that really wonderful poem you just posted, it does make me what to dream Stage I.   .......jo

nakdthoughts
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since 2000-10-29
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Between the Lines
20 posted 2005-08-17 10:52 AM


Yet somewhere under gruff and bite


yes...I know  several like this~~~

and  I do miss that show

*s
M

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
21 posted 2005-08-17 12:25 PM


Maureen -- funny isn't it how sometimes those walls actually do make things work?  'Course, sometimes they don't.  Thanks for stopping by.   ......jo
Mysteria
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22 posted 2005-08-17 09:25 PM


You made my day!  The Bunkers were my favorite family and t.v. show.  I still watch the reruns on Primetime, along with Golden Girls.  Dating myself but it was worth it, as was reading this poem a couple of times.
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
23 posted 2005-08-17 09:37 PM


Sharon, didn't really think about it until after I wrote this, but I think that one TV series is worth a poem all of its own....you know, it changed television forever -- real history there.  Guess I dated myself, too...lol.  I love the Golden Girls, too.  Someone ought to do a write about them....hehehe (hint, hint)!   ....jo
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