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Open Poetry #36
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A lamentation of words
| Open Poetry #36 |
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A lamentation of words |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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I started this Thinking I might have something to say And maybe I do But once again Realize I don’t quite know how Or how, to my liking I find the inutterable Impossible to couch in terms, poetic And the idea Of an undiluted, straight from the bottle, blurt Too strong And too sour So, I’ll retire to watch the ravens, gleaming Immaculate in their mourning suits Gleaning the field of both corpse and corn Resembling, not so much a murder of crows As a jostling, bowing body of morticians The swans are watching as well But sidelong, and not attentive They are reflecting, still and quiet Mute, in their lamentation |
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| © Copyright 2005 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ya know, Ed...I'm not there, but I feel like I am. I'd like to hug you.  |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I find the inutterable Impossible to couch in terms, poetic And the idea Of an undiluted, straight from the bottle, blurt Too strong And too sour I've been sitting here all night, thinking I wanted to write, maybe even should write... but nothing would come...and I can gaurantee if I did, it would be a straight from the bottle blurt.... so instead I will just tell you how much I enjoyed this and now I am glad that I didn't write. I'm with Martie. a hug indeed sounds good. yesterday is gone tomorrow doesn't exist |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"So, I’ll retire to watch the ravens, gleaming Immaculate in their mourning suits Gleaning the field of both corpse and corn" Wranx, it's like you get out the charcoals and begin to sketch...not really sure what art will come out...and then, there it is -- that perfect picture. Every time! ....jo |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
 Your surroundings surely do suit you! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow Ed! I felt like i was there too  Mxx ~i want for myself your trembling~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You started it, all right... and quietly took us all in. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
"They are reflecting, still and quiet Mute, in their lamentation" sometimes somethings are so heavy, so great...that words cannot encompass them... you captured that here |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx, It is a common cough, enjoyed. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
and this is why you are poetic: Resembling, not so much a murder of crows As a jostling, bowing body of morticians amazing lines, Eddie, the entire write and geez, I want to see out of YOUR window, mine just shows trees! *grin* (rather see with your eyes) |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
No maybe about it, Ed. You do -- unquestionably, and always. Ed ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
How aptly titled, Ed. Enjoyed from start to finish. ~tier |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ed, I love the way you seemed to be able to "see" what the ravens and the swans were thinking. And, I wish I could just sit down and write something so poetic. Your writing is amazing, Sir. Hugs,  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The image of swans in mourning is one I'll not soon forget... I read this last night just before I slept, and then I dreamed of fish swimming in the air. Not sure if that's connected, but that makes two startling images.  I love this, and love you.  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I started this Thinking I might have something to say I started reading Knowing you always do. *S* From the title through the last line... superb! |
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Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
Excellent Bodger |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Mysteria's artistic and poetic response to this reflective piece of fine writing, perfectly reflected my own response to your poem! There is such depth to your writing, Ed! Linda |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this touches |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
dang, but you've seen some of my ravens |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Wranx...I thought you said you didn't know how too say what you wanted too say WRONG You said it so smooth and with style. Enjoyed...Paul I on the other hand want too say so much but my mind just won't let it materialize. It's like someone turns off the switch before I have time too focus and put together the thoughts I want to convey. ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ Paul |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
you are definitely ON THE BUS. *grin* |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
you have a grand way of capturing the images of your mind, and putting them down on paper for all of us to see...outstanding write! |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
always a pleasure to read you |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You can take a man out of nature, but the nature could never be taken out of a man such as yourself!  Poetry spills from thy quill whether thy illustrious mind is engaged or not. Linda |
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