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Open Poetry #36
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wranx
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since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2005-08-08 10:18 PM


The Muses, gathered on a large island of a rock
Are all posed reposed, wind-blown and tousled
As if in a painting

Dressed, rather, as one would expect them to be
In not much more than sheathes of silk
And that, the color and mere substance of sea foam

Doing, I guess, what Muses do when they gather
Which today, is discussing the matter of Erato
Where she might be and why she is missing

The gulls say they’ve not seen her, but they are gulls
Concerned mainly with what affects, them
And for all of their chatter, have little to say

Erato had spent the evening in dark corner booth
Discovering spiced rum to be more heady, than thoughty
Collecting paper umbrellas and numbers on matchbooks

The night, in a rented bed, listening to the echoes
Of its labored creaking and the thinning of night traffic
Watching rectangles of light travel the walls and ceiling

In the morning she left him with only impressions
Of her head on the pillow, of her hip in the mattress
Her scents, the sounds she made, sealed in his memory


*************************************************
Yeah...This is crap, but I tired of trying to get it to say something

[This message has been edited by wranx (08-08-2005 11:25 PM).]

© Copyright 2005 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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California
1 posted 2005-08-08 10:27 PM


Ed...trust me....it says something!!  
littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
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New York
2 posted 2005-08-08 10:53 PM


whatever    *slap*

Now I see a lot in this, Eddie.
Don't you see?

She has strayed from what she knew - finding herself again then leaving the man to figure it all out.

You write of women as if you creep right into their brains.  

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
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Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2005-08-08 10:54 PM


wranx
Shadows that speak.

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
4 posted 2005-08-09 07:16 AM


You're not the only writer
that creeps into a woman

...

there are one or two others
at PiP...

who have that unique ability.

Call it what you will, m'friend...

but never that.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2005-08-09 07:39 AM


Crap?  I think not...and stand down here firmly chanting along with all the echoes above me...
You silly man!

EXCELLENT Prose!

Yanno, it's so true, the ones "we" think are the weakest, are the ones everyone else thinks are sensational, and this is no exception...BRAVO

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
6 posted 2005-08-09 12:02 PM


Hey Ed...you make me wanna through my pens away and start all over....

you always amaze

In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2005-08-09 08:14 PM


If your ink were toilet water, you still could not write "crap".

check yer messages, will ya?

Ratleader
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8 posted 2005-10-27 02:45 PM


Poets almost always mis-value their own work. Some over, some under, but they almost never hit it exactly and some miss rather badly. I know one who left a full half of her best poetry chained in notebooks -- things that would (and some have now) tie your heart in knots -- because she thought it was unworthy....and still doesn't trust her own judgment about it.

You, my friend, are not quite where she was...but you do undervalue. This is a textbook example of how to create atmosphere in a poem.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

[This message has been edited by Ratleader (10-27-2005 07:21 PM).]

Midnitesun
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Gaia
9 posted 2005-10-27 03:02 PM


and this, left my head with impressions
those tousled muses muss your hairs nicely

crap? lol, then give me some of it to shovel onto these pages

WhileIWasGone
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since 2002-07-18
Posts 486

10 posted 2005-10-27 04:39 PM


*bump*

Check your email

Ahavah
Nikki

Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

11 posted 2005-10-27 07:06 PM


crap?  no way.  if so, send more my way.
You are a true artist yanno?

Angelheart
Senior Member
since 2005-09-08
Posts 754
Jacksonville,FL USA
12 posted 2005-10-27 07:31 PM


nice. thanks for sharing.

Poetry can get you very far
-Laura

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
13 posted 2005-10-28 02:29 AM


What Midnitesun said....I concur.  Sorry I haven't been around much lately to read more of you; I think you are one of the best writers here.   .....jo
vlraynes
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since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
14 posted 2005-10-28 02:34 AM



What the SereneOne said...

You just don't do 'crap'..

*smile*

This is beautiful, Ed...




"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

icebox
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since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
15 posted 2005-10-28 09:23 AM


"In the morning she left him with only impressions..."

Hey Man, at least you got away clean; look at the hooks she put in Poe.

Besides, remember what Coleridge said, "Once a lyre always a lyre." ...or something like that.

*GRINNNNNNNNNNNNN*

(It is good stuff bro'.)

Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
16 posted 2005-10-28 09:53 AM


"In the morning she left him with only impressions
Of her head on the pillow, of her hip in the mattress
Her scents, the sounds she made, sealed in his memory"

Glad this was bumped...

she is the siren of words and she sang through you..

really, wonderful stuff.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2005-10-29 01:39 PM


I am grateful that Ed (Rat) bumped this because more people needed to read it.  

It really is a story within itself, Eddie

~~~

Ahavah - I wonder how many people truly know the meaning of that . . .
  

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

18 posted 2005-10-29 04:05 PM


Hey Uncle Yeti...

Miss you lovie.

and um, Susie Q? Check YOUR IM.

time prophet
Member
since 2003-07-30
Posts 371
In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees
19 posted 2005-10-30 07:57 PM


You just said a real mouthful, and it is good.
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2005-10-30 08:57 PM


Yes time prophet, it seems with wranx?

A little dab'll do ya.

Beautiful writing Ed. You have earned your light up muses beads. If we ever have snail mail service, you'll see what I mean. (Krewe of Muses, folks, a benign carnival gift for a lovely poet.)

Mysteria
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21 posted 2005-10-30 11:37 PM


Finally ~ Time to read, and this was absolutley worth waiting to read tonight by candlelight.  Beautiful work Ed.
Susan Caldwell
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since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
22 posted 2005-11-10 01:52 PM


Bumping for the noobs.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
23 posted 2005-11-11 01:40 PM


I don't think this is "crap". Period.
majnu
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24 posted 2005-12-10 06:47 PM


you are like pizza my friend, even when you are bad you are good.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
25 posted 2005-12-11 07:36 AM


Excellent, wranx.  Library.  And, littlewing, wranx, anyone, what is ahavah please?

- Owl

miscellanea
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since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
26 posted 2005-12-11 09:34 AM


A lot said here!  I wouldn't change it a bit.

misc

Nightshade
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just out of reach
27 posted 2005-12-11 09:54 AM


Wonderful write Ed.
Much enjoyed.
hugs, Chris

littlewing
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since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
28 posted 2005-12-11 11:15 AM


LOL Diana . . . funny you should ask, ahavah is in so many words:  LOVE  - a high spiritual state - a complete bonding. In the study of Kaballah.
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