Alter (For Juju's Vulnerability Challenge)

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Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

0 posted 2005-08-08 08:22 PM

For Juju's Poetry Challenge (she said as short as possible

so here is mine.)
/pip/Forum7/HTML/000656.html

Standing in naked truth
Giving all of me to you,
I can’t help but wonder
Are you my love
Giving all of you to me?

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

1 posted 2005-08-08 08:50 PM

This is hot! Yes, I think at one time or other most of us question that. The answer might be kind of scary! BTW, I like your play on word, alter/altar.

WOW! I didn't read what the challenge was, but I'm guessing you met it very well! So few words with quite a punch!

enjoyed

miscellanea

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

2 posted 2005-08-08 09:01 PM

I honestly wanted to be the one to use that angle on vulnerability, but I guess I'll have to reconsider.

I love the very subtle irony of standing naked and wondering what it is you're looking at, as though vulnerability is a one-way uncertainty.  "I am the naked truth, but are you?  Or is there more?"

I'll be married some day, and will have to comment again, I suppose.  Thanks for this brilliant, succinct answer to the challenge.

Brian

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2005-08-08 09:09 PM

LOL, Brian you go right ahead, your version will FAR excel mine m'friend, and I can't wait to read it.

Go for it!

Thanks miscellanea, and yes I asked that question at the altar 3 times, and I think looking back I already knew the answer

as there has never been a number 4!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2005-08-08 09:59 PM

You answered this challenge well Sharon!
Excellent..
Hugs~Nancy

Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that.
Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near.
When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

5 posted 2005-08-09 06:08 AM

Fits the theme perfectly...very nice...

------------ice/ford
><>

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

6 posted 2005-08-09 06:39 AM

Loved this and a challenge met very well, sure brought back memories for me...and do remember not only asking the same questions, but praying to God as well, that more then anything, He helped us both make this work...

I wish every marriage would work as beautifully as this picture...hugs to you
good one Sharon

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2005-08-09 07:07 AM

Another veil, shifted...
excellent write for the challenge!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

8 posted 2005-08-09 09:11 AM

That was perfect! Most of us can identify with that kind of vulnerability! Well done, Sharon!

Linda

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

9 posted 2005-08-09 09:38 AM

sad thing is one never knows until it is too late... and then there is the growing apart that sometimes happens almost out of the blue..

Good write

M

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

10 posted 2005-08-09 11:32 AM

and then there is the growing apart that sometimes happens almost out of the blue..

Oh boy Maureen, I think that growing apart is really a very obvious thing, but we chose to ignore it until its too late. Seasoned in time, hurt, hate, and defeat replace love with an accute sense of worthlessness I think myself. I have always tended to take the 1st hint given to me, and vamoose.