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Open Poetry #36
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LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296


0 posted 2005-08-08 09:54 AM


eco myths?

furiously paced coincidence

with animated chocking streams

of death rounds

like snow against a windshield

at breakneck speed

pushes ideas, with fingerless hands

a built in strobe, confirming black sentiment,

of some nauseating swirl of vertigo dropping

anchor, in a fast paced lethal practice, of clouds

mortal remains of mind's eye, electromagnetic

mouthfuls of fire, searing a hole in the arms

of existence…flushed smiling features slapping

pressure squeezed tendrils into the air like

Dante’s Inferno, revised

harsh black fluid, ripping spigots of stench

into greeneries, while slumped against the wall

lay care mutating….like a cable channel of

smoke, fogging oppressive heritage

perhaps the prophecy of cautionary notes

swirling in the lungs of the whispers DNA

a shadow man

the savage killer, beautifully laced

within moors of blood-shot eyes

unbuttoning the blouse of broken breath

peering through the cracks of what used to be's

clean air footsteps fell to man's

iron workmen, compost of an unknown murder

in a world where fear creates living subjects

hated for lighting up...the twisted truth of second

hand smoke, lies within the heritage of meltdowns

the world has misplaced light where storms

are fueled by climatic crisis of some carbinated

war...chemical spills, black tarred oceans, stream

stocking soapsuds

greenspan will eventually be the name of the

politician



© Copyright 2005 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2005-08-08 12:17 PM


This is breath-taking..breathing hard, the flow and intensity is awesome... will return later and read slowly...Maybe I'll read "Howl" in the mean time to build up my lungs...

Later----------ice
        ><>

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2005-08-08 12:32 PM


BRAVO!!! This poem deserves careful reading...it paints such vivid passion with each line...Stunning...*big hugs*

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2005-08-08 03:15 PM



Dante's Inferno, indeed.

You always seem to manifest a slow roll
and build then a head of steam
as the train of words
hurries toward
the end of
the
line.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
4 posted 2005-08-09 06:24 AM


LeeJ
I came back to savor, to let the words swish in my mouth, a fine wine it is in structure, though the story is course like 20/20, the subject is a bitter one, but poetically it is a fine Zinfandel blush.

In particular, I liked this part...

"...like a cable channel of

smoke, fogging oppressive heritage

perhaps the prophecy of cautionary notes

swirling in the lungs of the whispers DNA

a shadow man

the savage killer, beautifully laced

within moors of blood-shot eyes

unbuttoning the blouse of broken breath

peering through the cracks of what used to be's

clean air footsteps fell to man's

iron workmen, compost of an unknown murder

in a world where fear creates living subjects

hated for lighting up.."

In general, I liked it all...

------------ice/ford
    ><>

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2005-08-09 06:35 AM


Ice, many many thanks for your twice eyes...
I wrote this in regards to several documentries I watched, one inparticular, about an unknown sea algea which was taking over the ocean, and unknown to man at the time, was introducted by man...it grew at such an alarming rate, and was so toxic, all the fish left...then I heard about our great trees out west, and how toxins from fuel and polution are slowly killing them to, how polution waves across the earth, like a giant invisible ocean...reaping a slow death to all things...opens a new can of worms in my mind about cancers and other diseases.


Startime...thank you for taking the time to read and comment, you bring pink color to these ol cheeks.  Hugs

Sunshine...what can I say? Its how I think and those thoughts sometimes jumble into a train, which takes me into many questionable stops and starts...I've been told by many, my poems are way to long...and so, even though they kick and scream at me to stop...I don't want to...hehehehehe...but I think you already know that about me...thanks lovely lady for looking....

Hugs

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

6 posted 2005-08-09 03:32 PM


Great write!

Eric

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