»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #36
»
Numb
| Open Poetry #36 |
|
Numb |
|
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada 
|
 From the time I could stand on my own, I guess I’ve always been alone, and a loner. God knows why I came to be here in the first place. I will go to my grave that question being unanswered. One good thing, I’ve finally quit asking the question. I never had the luxury of having friends I could keep. They simply wouldn’t understand. I only had only one who tried to understand What it was like to wear my skin. She became a soul mate, but now she is gone too. There was one aunt and uncle that cared enough To free me from that hell I was forced to call “home.” Yearly they came across country to fetch me, Taking me to where a garden of sanity grew. It was there I discovered sleep, and peace. It was there I felt love. People smiled, hugged, and laughed there. It was there I learned about the finer things in life. She taught me how to cook, speak languages, and even how to sit. How a lady acted, spoke, or would set her table, Not that I do all that now, but I could if I wanted to. We spent hours “Aunt-nunsiating,” as they called it. It was because of them public speaking became easy for me. My stutter had simply vanished bathed in their love. My future career in life was actually molded by them. They instilled in me that no dream was impossible For where there was passion, there was always a way. I carried that advice with me all my life and passed it on. Well, he up and died on us on day far too soon, Leaving me with no comprehension as to why he could do that to us. I was his flower he had said, and now I was just barely in bud. My once bone-thin form was so filled with its own passion. Only now do I realize how selfish we all become in death. He took with him that day, a part of my heart That he alone had taught to feel. To this day I have never gotten over that loss. He did leave behind knowledge to quench a parched mind. It still echoes in the wind each and every day I become troubled. In a gentle breeze I can feel his strength, his touch, Hear his answers, as still he continues to guide me. So soft and kind were his voice and touch, That it shook my world of chaos to its very core. I can still sit and cry as I remember the day He simply softly whispered to my “family,” “She is coming with us forever!” No one said a single word as we walked out that door. I later realized his strength, tenacity and determination, By some strange osmosis had become mine. Seems that from that day forward I became a part of those two souls. Her love of life and helping others saturated my weary soul. She would say, “Girlie, this one thing I know for sure.” “Life is for the living, never be afraid to live it! If you are afraid to live honey, then you will surely be afraid to die. It isn’t the dying most people fear, it’s the living.” I learned what goodness when shared could really do. It replaced the darkest corners of my soul in brilliant light. It felt good to make others smile, really good. They saved me from hell those two dear people, I loved them. Well, she was 92, and she's up and died on me too now. She picked Canada Day, a day I won't soon ever forget. She was so proud of her country and made me proud too. What scares me is, I wonder if she took away with her The rest of what they molded into what finally became a human heart. I am numb again, and there are once more, no tears. Carpe' Diem |
||
| © Copyright 2005 Mysteria 1997 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"What scares me is, did she take away with her The rest of what they molded into what finally was a human heart. For I am numb and there are once more, no tears." ~ You may feel numb from the pain of your loss, but your heart will forever be humane and loving. God bless your aunt and uncle for having a hand in forming you into the woman that you are.  Wrapping my arms around you, Linda |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Only now do I realize how selfish we become in death. He took with him that day, a part of my heart That he alone had taught to feel a beautiful write, Sharon..I can understand the above... You were very lucky to have known that kind of never ending devotion and love... for that is what it was and is as you have it inside you now~~ M |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Thanks you two, they were very special people in my life (the parents I never really had I guess.) This has been a rather tough week with bad news coming from all directions but because of them I have learned to deal with it in a non-destructive way I guess. Not even sure that was a poem but you know, sometimes you just have to sit with that submission box in front of you and write something. This was one of those times. They are ALL gone now, just me left and it is a rather weird space to be in right now. |
||
|
Bodger Senior Member
since 2005-06-12
Posts 1260Tolerance for a short time |
I read your words and to a degree it makes me sad that you speak of loss when they are there in your memory and always with you The physical loss of never hearing their words or sounds is one that never leaves As we get older more and more we knew leave us but that is life and death The biggest worry for me are people who write off those alive as too old to enjoy and thus create early deaths and politicians are what I am thinking off Bodger |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
You were so blessed to have them in your life Sharon. I am so sorry for your loss. You will always hold them close in your heart.. and remember all the good times. ~Sending heart hugs your way sweet lady~  |
||
|
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Beautiful...James |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
"He did leave behind knowledge to quench a parched mind. It still echoes in the wind each and every day I become troubled. In a gentle breeze I can feel his strength, his touch, Hear his answers, as still he continues to guide me." and as with lady willow and the other one? I believe I remember you speaking of her before they left you with a bouquet of love that you always share with the rest of us hugs, me to you |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
read between the lines of this outpouring... touch the traces of love left behind from each of them and Willow.... look behind the examples you set each day with the choices you make... listen to the inner voice that guides you on this path... turn around and look behind you...then beside you... see the mirrors in Todds eyes... look into the eyes of those goregeous granddaughters.... youve already answered all your questions... even some you havent asked yet... its a journey... now look ahead... you already know the direction....   |
||
|
latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
quote_______________________________________ They are ALL gone now, just me left and it is a rather weird space to be in right now. ___________________________________________ Never really gone Mysteria, as Janet Marie said, you pass on all you have learned from those beautiful people. You pass it to your son and his daughters, friends here at PIP and those you come across in your daily life. I always thought, "we never know who is looking to us, so it behooves us to be the best we can. The best of you can be attributed to them, but it is you and you do pass it on. Thanks for sharing your thoughts , we all learn form them. martyjo |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
*hearthugs* Shar |
||
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
hugsss you....this is an outpouring of raw emotions....  I believe it helps in healing....In your light I learn how to love |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You are sure wonderful people here that is for sure, and thank you for the emails, and comments on this write. Call it karma, kismit, or whatever you wish, I found this place in a nic of time like so many others and made friends I know I will have for the duration of this lifetime anyway  and to Ron and for them I am most grateful.I'm actually pretty good at keeping the memory of those I loved alive but this is getting harder and harder the older I get. Seems that not only are more family and friends passing on, but I am almost getting good at accepting it, and that is what scares me. I realized today outside of my son, that I was I am the last one standing so to speak. As usual Janet Marie, you overwhelm me with your indepth response. |
||
|
ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Into a garden she was taken, out of hell; Impressions changed By temporary Eden, Stuck with her throughout her life. You have written a beautiful poem, Ms.Teria an ispiring one.... enjoyed -----------ice ><> BTW, the end line is perfect... |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
“Life is for the living, never be afraid to live it! If you are afraid to live honey, then you will surely be afraid to die. It isn’t the dying most people fear, it’s the living.” They instilled stability, wisdom and a sense of true family Sharon, and that is something you have been able to carry with you every waking day. They may have passed, but you will always carry their love, their lessons and their memories with you forever. That, my friend ... is a gift no one can ever take away from you. Keeping you in my thoughts, with many thanks to you, for being the wonderful person that your Aunt and Uncle lovingly helped to mold.  Best wishes and big hugs, /Kit |
||
|
Munda Member Elite
since 1999-10-08
Posts 3544The Hague, The Netherlands |
You may not realize it Sharon, but without doubt you have become to others what they have been to you, so you see, they are always with you. You breathe these two special souls, giving forth the beauty they taught you.  |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
you are such an amazing woman... this touched my heart beyond words... all that they are, all their love, is you and it remains and lives on because of you.  |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
MY goodness what would one do without an internet family? You are all just a blanket of healing to me today, and for that I sincerely thank you. Ice, I kept that - thank you. |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sharon, my friend.... and what JM said! |
||
|
miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
"I am numb again, and there are once more, no tears." Someday the numb will turn into a reflective smile, but you probably already know that. As for tears, your words stirred a few of mine--I'll gladly share them. I'm sure your presence enriched them. I can imagine they would be proud of you and want you to move on as you're able, sharing their grace and love of life with others, just as you do here. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but felt tingly inside when you wrote of how they took you so unselfishly to the garden of sanity. It's good to know they left a special seed behind to do that for others. sincerely, miscellanea |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Just hugs... Lots of 'em... "When the power of love overcomes the love |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
So much love pouring forth, Sharon... The fact that you loved them so much as to share with us their best, here... Some people never revere our elders at all... "too painful" they say... yet to not talk about them would be like cutting off history mid-way... I'm so very glad they left you with the spunk it takes to share their lives... and of them instilling within you the force to always leave behind your mantra... Carpe Diem! |
||
|
GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
What is there to say when life hurts so much? I wish that it didn't, for you. They'll never die in you. None of them. Hang on... Always, Alyssa Hupomeno. |
||
|
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
good read |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Again, I wish to thank everyone for your kind wishes and thoughts as I surely do appreciate them all. |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
You had a very special aunt - a lady who took that extra step for you - just as you have for her over the years. It's wonderful that you had each other, and surely difficult to have to close that very important chapter in your life. Keep her in your heart, Sharon - She'll always be there... And give your son and his family even larger hugs now (if that's possible)... You're special, m'friend... Here's a huge hug from me to you... |
||
|
Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Nan, you are always there like some soft blankie yanno? Thank you m'friend. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
