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Open Poetry #36
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Greeneyes
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since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2005-08-03 01:41 PM



Justin,


"The wind is just the restless walking"


For a while every nightfall passed
over my palms where all green bled the dawn

we had no where else to go
I could not think of what to tell you
just my stupid grin beaming

We did not know it then,
but the streets were so
crowded, so dark  - -
our           memories good
most of them
I have left them there,
behind the window

Have you ever seen such weakness within me?

when my chest was full
with steady rain

your laughter was my  music
a sure thing
but all the while
buried deep
was the pain

                    just as you are, you would never

claim it as your own

simple tracks in the earth

I suppose I could convince you
the world is ours
spread across 14 pages
of each bond we share,
of what might be
                    and walls of freedom


Yet I believed
beyond our breath
to each other, the heart was not afraid

when that night I saw you dream of beauty
and quiet hours

where no one loves you like I do


In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

© Copyright 2005 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2005-08-03 02:18 PM


oh good lord girl...........
*moth kleenex alert*
I'll reply more when Im done bawling...and reading it many more times......
god this was beautiful...............



one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ...
~ take only memories ... leave only footprints ~


Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2005-08-03 02:25 PM


WOW, Oh my word!  I just loved the title too.  
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2005-08-03 02:45 PM


"Have you ever seen such weakness within me?

when my chest was full
with steady rain

your laughter was my  music
a sure thing
but all the while
buried deep
was the pain"

Oh my Lauren...what talent you possess...
you continue to take my breath away and leave me speechless..
Remarkable lady...absolutely remarkable.
Hugs YOU!

Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that.
Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near.
When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
4 posted 2005-08-03 02:55 PM


"when my chest was full
with steady rain

your laughter was my  music"

The whole poem is fantastic but I particularly like the above lines because that indeed is how love should be.
  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2005-08-03 03:08 PM


but all the while
buried deep
was the pain

                    just as you are, you would never

claim it as your own

~*~

Penning volumns again, you are...
one noted word
after
another...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

6 posted 2005-08-03 03:38 PM


your words as beautiful as you


Christopher
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
7 posted 2005-08-03 07:09 PM


quote:
when my chest was full
with steady rain
i really like that lots and stuff

SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
8 posted 2005-08-04 12:17 PM


"Yet I believed
beyond our breath
to each other, the heart was not afraid

when that night I saw you dream of beauty
and quiet hours

where no one loves you like I do"


woman.... you rock...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2005-08-04 01:10 AM


Nice...James
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2005-08-04 01:37 AM


Oh sigh Lauren, you've collapsed me..

this is absolutely gorgeous..sigh and a

Mxx

~i want for myself your trembling~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2005-08-04 08:58 AM


"Yet I believed
beyond our breath
to each other, the heart was not afraid

when that night I saw you dream of beauty
and quiet hours

where no one loves you like I do"

Because you believed, they dreamed.     outstanding!  as always..

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2005-08-04 09:04 AM


Wow!

Beautiful is all I can say.

Eric

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

13 posted 2005-08-04 09:23 AM


Amazing...he should be sticken with happy tears...this was truly amazing, as you are.
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2005-08-04 10:19 AM


GreenEyes~

'Yet I believed
beyond our breath
to each other, the heart was not afraid

when that night I saw you dream of beauty
and quiet hours

where no one loves you like I do'


Very nice~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~


~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2005-08-04 11:57 AM


I appreciate each response and the time taken to read....this was a ramble of sorts...and from a series I am working on "Searching for OZ" hugsss all and much love...



In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
16 posted 2005-08-04 12:21 PM


Lauren, you have the most gentle way of expressing your poetic heart. You are always a pleasure to read...Always!

Loving hugs,
Linda

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2005-08-04 04:54 PM


still sighing, had to come back for another read....magnificent Lauren!

Mxx

~i want for myself your trembling~

garysgirl
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since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
18 posted 2005-08-04 06:59 PM


Lauren just absolutely beautiful writing,
Lady. You are such a good writer. I really
enjoyed reading.
Hugs,

Larry C
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since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
19 posted 2005-08-04 09:30 PM


Ah to be a lucky guy...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2005-08-04 10:20 PM


Lauren

You write with such grace, you captivate all that read you.  

Midnitesun
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Gaia
21 posted 2005-08-04 10:46 PM


talk about a magical flow of words and images
this is beautiful

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
22 posted 2005-08-05 11:51 AM


Thank you all .... I appreciate the heartfelt responses....

hugsss and love...it's a beautiful day!


In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

she'll_be_apples
Junior Member
since 2005-07-11
Posts 22

23 posted 2005-08-05 04:46 PM


Loved it all, the title, the poem...I'm melting.  

~peace~

Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980
Ca
24 posted 2005-08-05 05:45 PM


beautiful
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

25 posted 2005-08-05 10:19 PM


"The wind is just the restless walking"

For a while every nightfall passed
over my palms where all green bled the dawn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
our           memories good
most of them
I have left them there,
behind the window

Have you ever seen such weakness within me?

when my chest was full
with steady rain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yet I believed
beyond our breath
to each other, the heart was not afraid

when that night I saw you dream of beauty
and quiet hours

where no one loves you like I do


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what can I say that I havent said before, and still my mothy words wont touch the beauty of yours....
this muse is truly a gift from the poetic gods....
as for your reply about this being a series...
you KNOW Im first in line.


Yet I believed
beyond our breath
to each other, the heart was not afraid



and that my dear is why the poetry is so amazing.

I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out ...
But I want you to remember my name

Alanis

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
26 posted 2005-08-06 04:40 PM


ikyk

luv ya girlie...thank you

In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
27 posted 2005-08-08 09:15 AM


The short answer: this is one of the best poems I've read at PiP -- yours or anyone else's.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
28 posted 2005-08-08 10:09 AM


ED~

you have not only brightened my day but my week....thank you Sir...


hugssss you


In your light I learn how to love
In your beauty how to make poems
You dance inside my chest where
no one sees you and that sight becomes this art

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

29 posted 2005-08-08 10:52 AM


yessss... I know.

I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out ...
But I want you to remember my name

Alanis

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
30 posted 2005-08-08 12:07 PM


The title.....

The title alone is a poem, freestanding.


Stellar stuff, Lauren

suthern
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Louisiana
31 posted 2005-08-09 01:12 PM


I started to highlight my favorite lines... stopped when I realized I'd copied the entire poem. *S*

To put it simply... this is superb!!!!

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
32 posted 2005-08-09 03:41 PM


... such answers are found upon the winds ...

      Beautiful!

CT

soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
33 posted 2005-08-09 11:41 PM


Oh...my god, that's transcendent. That's...pretty much perfect. Every poem of yours that I've read has astounded me, but this one most of all.

"Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

34 posted 2005-08-11 12:22 PM


I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out ...
But I want you to remember my name

Alanis

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
35 posted 2005-09-12 08:57 PM


feeling restless these days myself
    but have never learned to walk on the wind ...

                    but something tells me that it is very possible when under the spell of your words ....


            ~~ lost within your poetic mind!!

        CT

A word in hand is worth two in a hush ...  CTOwen/05

              

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