Greeneyes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
|
|
0
posted
2005-08-03
01:41 PM
|
Justin,
"The wind is just the restless walking"
For a while every nightfall passed over my palms where all green bled the dawn
we had no where else to go I could not think of what to tell you just my stupid grin beaming
We did not know it then, but the streets were so crowded, so dark - - our memories good most of them I have left them there, behind the window
Have you ever seen such weakness within me?
when my chest was full with steady rain
your laughter was my music a sure thing but all the while buried deep was the pain
just as you are, you would never
claim it as your own
simple tracks in the earth
I suppose I could convince you the world is ours spread across 14 pages of each bond we share, of what might be and walls of freedom
Yet I believed beyond our breath to each other, the heart was not afraid
when that night I saw you dream of beauty and quiet hours
where no one loves you like I do
In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes this art
|
© Copyright
2005
Lauren~
- All Rights Reserved
|
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554
|
|
1
posted
2005-08-03
02:18 PM
|
oh good lord girl........... *moth kleenex alert* I'll reply more when Im done bawling...and reading it many more times...... god this was beautiful...............
one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ... ~ take only memories ... leave only footprints ~
|
Mysteria
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
|
|
2
posted
2005-08-03
02:25 PM
|
WOW, Oh my word! I just loved the title too.
|
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
|
|
3
posted
2005-08-03
02:45 PM
|
"Have you ever seen such weakness within me?
when my chest was full with steady rain
your laughter was my music a sure thing but all the while buried deep was the pain"
Oh my Lauren...what talent you possess... you continue to take my breath away and leave me speechless.. Remarkable lady...absolutely remarkable. Hugs YOU!
Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that. Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near. When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back
|
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
|
|
4
posted
2005-08-03
02:55 PM
|
"when my chest was full with steady rain
your laughter was my music"
The whole poem is fantastic but I particularly like the above lines because that indeed is how love should be.
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
|
|
5
posted
2005-08-03
03:08 PM
|
but all the while buried deep was the pain
just as you are, you would never
claim it as your own
~*~
Penning volumns again, you are... one noted word after another...
|
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989
|
|
6
posted
2005-08-03
03:38 PM
|
your words as beautiful as you
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
|
|
7
posted
2005-08-03
07:09 PM
|
quote: when my chest was full with steady rain
i really like that lots and stuff
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
|
|
8
posted
2005-08-04
12:17 PM
|
"Yet I believed beyond our breath to each other, the heart was not afraid
when that night I saw you dream of beauty and quiet hours
where no one loves you like I do"
woman.... you rock...
|
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
|
|
9
posted
2005-08-04
01:10 AM
|
Nice...James
|
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
|
|
10
posted
2005-08-04
01:37 AM
|
Oh sigh Lauren, you've collapsed me..
this is absolutely gorgeous..sigh and a
Mxx~i want for myself your trembling~
|
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
|
|
11
posted
2005-08-04
08:58 AM
|
"Yet I believed beyond our breath to each other, the heart was not afraid
when that night I saw you dream of beauty and quiet hours
where no one loves you like I do"
Because you believed, they dreamed. outstanding! as always..
"too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~
|
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
|
|
12
posted
2005-08-04
09:04 AM
|
Wow!
Beautiful is all I can say.
Eric
|
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296
|
|
13
posted
2005-08-04
09:23 AM
|
Amazing...he should be sticken with happy tears...this was truly amazing, as you are.
|
Marge Tindal
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
|
|
14
posted
2005-08-04
10:19 AM
|
GreenEyes~
'Yet I believed beyond our breath to each other, the heart was not afraid
when that night I saw you dream of beauty and quiet hours
where no one loves you like I do'
Very nice~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~
~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left. - Sufi epigram <))><
Email noles1@totcon.com
|
Greeneyes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
|
|
15
posted
2005-08-04
11:57 AM
|
I appreciate each response and the time taken to read....this was a ramble of sorts...and from a series I am working on "Searching for OZ" hugsss all and much love...
In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes this art
|
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
|
|
16
posted
2005-08-04
12:21 PM
|
Lauren, you have the most gentle way of expressing your poetic heart. You are always a pleasure to read...Always!
Loving hugs, Linda
|
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
|
|
17
posted
2005-08-04
04:54 PM
|
still sighing, had to come back for another read....magnificent Lauren!
Mxx~i want for myself your trembling~
|
garysgirl
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
|
|
18
posted
2005-08-04
06:59 PM
|
Lauren just absolutely beautiful writing, Lady. You are such a good writer. I really enjoyed reading. Hugs,
|
Larry C
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
|
|
19
posted
2005-08-04
09:30 PM
|
Ah to be a lucky guy... If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
|
|
20
posted
2005-08-04
10:20 PM
|
Lauren
You write with such grace, you captivate all that read you.
|
Midnitesun
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
|
|
21
posted
2005-08-04
10:46 PM
|
talk about a magical flow of words and images this is beautiful
|
Greeneyes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
|
|
22
posted
2005-08-05
11:51 AM
|
Thank you all .... I appreciate the heartfelt responses....
hugsss and love...it's a beautiful day!
In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes this art
|
she'll_be_apples
Junior Member
since 2005-07-11
Posts 22
|
|
23
posted
2005-08-05
04:46 PM
|
Loved it all, the title, the poem...I'm melting.
~peace~
|
Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980
Ca
|
|
24
posted
2005-08-05
05:45 PM
|
beautiful
|
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554
|
|
25
posted
2005-08-05
10:19 PM
|
"The wind is just the restless walking"
For a while every nightfall passed over my palms where all green bled the dawn ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ our memories good most of them I have left them there, behind the window
Have you ever seen such weakness within me?
when my chest was full with steady rain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yet I believed beyond our breath to each other, the heart was not afraid
when that night I saw you dream of beauty and quiet hours
where no one loves you like I do
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
what can I say that I havent said before, and still my mothy words wont touch the beauty of yours.... this muse is truly a gift from the poetic gods.... as for your reply about this being a series... you KNOW Im first in line.
Yet I believed beyond our breath to each other, the heart was not afraid
and that my dear is why the poetry is so amazing.
I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain I don't mind helping you out ... But I want you to remember my name
Alanis
|
Greeneyes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
|
|
26
posted
2005-08-06
04:40 PM
|
ikyk
luv ya girlie...thank you In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes this art
|
Ratleader
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
|
|
27
posted
2005-08-08
09:15 AM
|
The short answer: this is one of the best poems I've read at PiP -- yours or anyone else's.~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________
|
Greeneyes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
|
|
28
posted
2005-08-08
10:09 AM
|
ED~
you have not only brightened my day but my week....thank you Sir...
hugssss you
In your light I learn how to love In your beauty how to make poems You dance inside my chest where no one sees you and that sight becomes this art
|
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554
|
|
29
posted
2005-08-08
10:52 AM
|
yessss... I know. I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain I don't mind helping you out ... But I want you to remember my name
Alanis
|
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
|
|
30
posted
2005-08-08
12:07 PM
|
The title.....
The title alone is a poem, freestanding.
Stellar stuff, Lauren
|
suthern
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
|
|
31
posted
2005-08-09
01:12 PM
|
I started to highlight my favorite lines... stopped when I realized I'd copied the entire poem. *S*
To put it simply... this is superb!!!!
|
ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
|
|
32
posted
2005-08-09
03:41 PM
|
... such answers are found upon the winds ...
Beautiful!
CT
|
soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado
|
|
33
posted
2005-08-09
11:41 PM
|
Oh...my god, that's transcendent. That's...pretty much perfect. Every poem of yours that I've read has astounded me, but this one most of all."Poets are all who love, who feel great truths, and tell them; and the truth of truths is love." --Philip James Bailey
|
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554
|
|
34
posted
2005-08-11
12:22 PM
|
I'll bare the brunt of your long buried pain I don't mind helping you out ... But I want you to remember my name
Alanis
|
ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
|
|
35
posted
2005-09-12
08:57 PM
|
feeling restless these days myself but have never learned to walk on the wind ...
but something tells me that it is very possible when under the spell of your words ....
~~ lost within your poetic mind!!
CTA word in hand is worth two in a hush ... CTOwen/05
|
|