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Open Poetry #36
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2005-07-19 06:15 PM


The trail led across the field of green,
Over the hill to where was not seen,
Brush, grass and a few tall trees
All swayed a bit by summer breeze
Warmed greatly by the bright sunlight.

From the hilltop he looked around
Wildflowers around him as he walked down,
He didn’t remember them being here
For he’d not walked this path for many a year,
The last time was in a winter’s night.

Slowly through the land the path sank
Till he was walking upon a stream’s bank
A trickling of water over sand and polished stone
That flowed from here to near a neighbors home
Turning back and forth, left to right.

The path led across the shallow stream
And back up over another hill of green,
There he paused before carrying on
To listen to a near by bird’s song,
And look about at the pastoral sight.

Amidst the crossing something fluttered by,
A multicolored flower of a butterfly,
And when he reached out his hand
He slipped and into the stream did land,
Plopping down out of another sight.

So there he sat in the water cool
Feeling mostly like a clumsy fool
And before he had chance to rise
The butterfly was before his eyes
And upon his nose it did alight.

So exploration came to be complete
Finding a cool and flowing seat,
He watched the sun fall down the sky
And in the distance went the butterfly,
And so out of the water he rose
Wet pants and a tickled nose
And started back the way he came
And though the path was still the same,
It seemed to be a more familiar sight.

Gloom


© Copyright 2005 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2005-07-20 12:21 PM


this was too cute
he got to cool off and see a pretty butterfly!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2005-07-20 08:55 AM


I love it when you take me on your journeys.   

I guess sometimes it takes a fall.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2005-07-20 09:34 AM


me thinks this lovely poem has a great deal more meaning then a stoll down a path in the woods...(wink)  magnificent....
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
4 posted 2005-07-20 10:24 AM


A beautiful vision that had such detail I was able to join in the walk...A delight to read...*hugs*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2005-07-20 06:34 PM


I'm enjoying these strolls very much Prof, but you know me, smile, I'll pull apart lace to figure out how it is spun.

So...do tell.

Are you following a form or creating your own here? (You know I have difficulty identifying meter)

(And if I didn't love this, I wouldn't be asking how you do it. )

I kinda lost the rhythm in stanza three, so I'm wondering if I'm stressing wrong syllables in me head. heh. Wouldn't surprise me at all.




nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
6 posted 2005-07-21 07:49 AM


And when he reached out his hand
He slipped and into the stream did land,

~~~smiling at the thought~~~
and the coolness of it all (good morning...sort of   ...so far-so good)

M

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