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Open Poetry #36
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2005-07-16 06:24 PM



you are thunderous
arrogant,
like the gladiator

O clashing soldier, how you
wave your sword in blue,
in green:

rushing always rushing

you slay the breeze and roll
the trees to take with you
the solitary
tears
of the blue fish

and

your wet armour:

you rise and you fall

and fall
falling white
like the thick water
of weeping
like the slap of kisses

to become the hillsong
in my stream

take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away. but do not take from me your laughter.

~neruda~

© Copyright 2005 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-07-16 06:34 PM


wow

just wow

I feel like I was just caught up in a wave and I am now left crumbled on the shore like strung out sea weed!

Wow...

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2005-07-16 06:36 PM


I think I saw a lightning storm pass through these blue pages....Passion flared and thunder roared....Studding...*big hugs*

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2005-07-16 07:27 PM


Oh Maree, I could see the waves as they crest in this, how they roll in and back out to the sea.
God, I love the way you write Bella..
sigh....



Give me your heart
Make it real
Or else forget about it...Santana

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
4 posted 2005-07-16 07:45 PM


I don't think there has ever been a time when I've read your poetry that I was not in awe and in admiration of your talent!  This is no exception!  The imagery is fabulous.  Your word choice and the way space your pauses is just wonderful!  To the top!

          miscellanea  

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
5 posted 2005-07-16 11:45 PM


The only things missing here are a trident, and the rete.

Posiedon lives in this, Darksis

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2005-07-17 12:44 PM


Maree...You have a lucious talent for describing water.  I loved this...seemed like a river or a waterfall.  
she'll_be_apples
Junior Member
since 2005-07-11
Posts 22

7 posted 2005-07-17 04:22 AM


very much enjoyed
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2005-07-17 11:26 AM


Oh! Me like dis!

You took me right along on this ride -- well done, Maree!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2005-07-19 08:00 PM


Bella?  

I forgot to click....
library......

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
10 posted 2005-07-20 01:45 AM


Maree,

God, I saw so much here - but first I saw a whale .  . it's mighty tail just above the water, and also lightning flashing through the sky . . . the soldier . . . and rightly so - it should be "untitled".

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2005-07-20 08:51 AM


"and fall
falling white
like the thick water
of weeping
like the slap of kisses"

wonderful job describing a wonderous and beautiful thing!  

I need to take a "beach day" from work..

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2005-07-20 08:55 AM


and I wonder of your hillsong
how do you worship

enjoyed this ms

JesusChristPose
Senior Member
since 2005-06-21
Posts 777
Pittsburgh, Pa
13 posted 2005-07-21 12:11 PM


I have been on that same shore watching that same gladiator, enjoyed!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2005-07-24 07:24 PM


falling white
like the thick water
of weeping
like the slap of kisses

to become the hillsong
in my stream

~*~

What you won't take to make yours
from the storm of storms...


yv
Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574

15 posted 2005-07-24 07:27 PM


Beautiful.  The imagery is absolutely delicious.

Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent.

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
16 posted 2005-07-25 12:55 PM


Powerful.

It is nice to get back and read my old favorites.

Marilyn.

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