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Open Poetry #36
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Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
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0 posted 2005-07-15 03:47 PM


Nest

I would cry if I could;
the very moisture of me is stolen
until only crystal salt
will come to seed my eyes.
It is a cowbird spring,
a spring that mocks the birds
for eggs shoved out,
for tiny shells all scattered
in the wet sweet clover.
There is no song in me
but the song of taken,
this gray thing that fouls
the nest I built once
stick by twig, and lined with
down from near my heart.
Where the hatchlings all a’ tremble?
They are lost, the two of them
as something else was lost,
more than the time of every day;
the sky going naked of the sun
and cold splashed now with stars
I half imagine underneath
their lavender haze.
When is the time?
Now, someone said;
let it be, someone said,
if you will, someone said, but where,
where did the hatchlings fly?
Reality is flint, it splits me deep until
I am made of splintered glass and salt,
salt and two tiny round shells
nearly hidden by the blooms of clover,
shells and two small cries
drowned hapless by the thundering bees.


[This message has been edited by Ratleader (07-15-2005 11:32 PM).]

© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2005-07-15 04:47 PM


Melancholy at its best.  I think you need a hug.  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-07-15 04:50 PM



OMG...
Truly, truly...
one of your best tear-jerkers ever...

and where was the hanky alert, m'friend?

Indeed, where did you leave that alert
as you wandered aimlessly, looking...

hurting...

Jo said it - you need a

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2005-07-15 04:59 PM


Sigh...Ed...I have one for you too.  
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2005-07-15 05:05 PM


Reality is flint, it splits me deep until
I am made of splintered glass and salt,
salt and two tiny round shells
nearly hidden by the blooms of clover,
shells and two small cries
drowned hapless by the thundering bees.

Oh, goodness... I agree with Sunshine... this is one of your best... and since you only write excellence, that's saying a lot!!

Vivid images leave lasting impact... and yes... a desire to give you a hug, even knowing that won't make things better... so...


latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2005-07-15 05:12 PM


Empty nest syndrome? Oh how you write. This is precious. You know the birds so well, and know life too. Thank you for this one. best martyjo
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
6 posted 2005-07-15 06:13 PM




Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2005-07-15 11:08 PM


EdRat Dude

This is a Very Very strong write, m'friend

As good as any

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2005-07-16 12:46 PM


I did the best I could, but it wasn’t enough.  I wish it had been, but I’m afraid I failed rather miserably.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
9 posted 2005-07-16 08:00 PM


No failure, my friend.  One of my birdies is flying now, even though I hoped she'd stay around a little longer.  I believe she is a little prettier now, seeing the positive and negative spaces on her own.  I could only hope to tell her of colors, but now brilliance is hers to find, from which to shield her eyes "sometimes", but hers to find!  

Guess I'm going to have to build another shelf in my library.  Yours is becoming quite crowded!

     miscellanea

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
10 posted 2005-07-16 08:10 PM


Emotions conveyed very well here.
Excellent write Ed.
TD

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
11 posted 2005-07-16 09:31 PM


Ed
Hope you can hear the applause that is coming from Pennsylvania, it is mine, and also the foot stomping....
This amazing poem deserves it and more...

------------ice
    ><>

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2005-07-17 04:23 AM


Sad Ed, yet strong. One of your best.

mxx

take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away. but do not take from me your laughter.

~neruda~

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2005-07-25 03:24 PM


For you to consider a write such as this a failure leaves me torn. On the one hand... I'd never wish you anguish of any kind. On the other hand... I wanna steal your pen so maybe... perhaps... if the pen is as magical in my hand as yours, I'll be capable of such magnificent "failures"... *G*
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