Repost: "Chasing after you"

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2005-07-08 02:34 PM

Sunshine made a comment to me about my spelling so I went back and realized the greater majority of my good poems had major spelling and gramerical errors. I found this cute poem from open poetry 30 of mine that needed revisal.

"Chasing after you"

I held that small bouquet of dandelions
like a small child lost in a large meadow.
I threw them behind me just to search for you
Only once, did I look back to watch them go...

one by one
seed by seed
pedals too

All I wanted to do is simply kiss you
with my bouquet and my gloss of super glue...

-Juju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

[This message has been edited by Juju (07-08-2005 10:32 PM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2005-07-08 02:37 PM

this is cute

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2005-07-08 02:54 PM

What a delightful poem that you brought back up into the light of day!

~ and the ending was scrumptiously sweet!

"All I wanted to do is simply kiss you
with my bouquet and my gloss of super glue..."

EA

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

3 posted 2005-07-08 08:06 PM

Thank you. I really think those changes made it alot better. I know it was well like before I did it so I hope it is better. I fixed the mishap in the meter and the very bad grammer in one line. Wooopss.

-Juju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

4 posted 2005-07-09 08:23 AM

you said it yourself. this was cute. and the images you evoke in my mind--superb!

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

5 posted 2005-07-09 10:13 AM

Much better..

Goldenrose.

Desire for nothing except desirelessness,hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes, want nothing and you will have everything.avatar Meher Baba.

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

6 posted 2005-07-10 12:00 PM

Thank you

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

7 posted 2005-07-10 01:32 PM

So much better, Juju! It really is cute.

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

8 posted 2005-07-10 02:11 PM

Oh I am glad you like it.

-Juju

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.