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Open Poetry #36
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Don_Juan
Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252
Far from where I am going

0 posted 2005-07-06 01:33 AM


10 am
my ears still abound
with the sting of the alarm's wretched ring
the mid-summer sun embraces the window
shedding it's lust across the floor
lighting my path
and I stumble
remembering half written prophecies
they light your fantasy face
so well, so well
the premature sun
brings you once again to my mind
and never will I mind it.

[chorus/motif]
Only in mid-summer could this be
this reoccuring fantasy
flashes amidst a world of slumber
dreams of your face in mid-summer

this preconstructed metal waterfall
bleeds warm charring crystal
embracing all that shouldn't be
carrying it away to never more
cleanliness has never been attained quicker
but my mind wanders,lingers,and doesn't forget
steam billows past ceiling confines
adding to the humidity and to the clouds

[chorus/motif]
Only in mid-summer could this be
this reoccuring fantasy
flahses amidst a world of slumber
dreams of your face in mid-summer

I always knew that the sun would hide away
the gray has a certain splendor
calmingly brooding drifting among the heavens
shading my street and yours
these clouds weep for us
with howling wind they speak only for forlorn lovers
"bring about understanding on common ground
sympathize and realize parallel thoughts
please do not look the other way
let wandering eyes meet, just for once."
it was on this mid-summer storm day
that the wind did speak
telling of obvious thoughts
and in one breath darkness fell
within the dead of afternoon

[chorus/motif]
Only in mid-summer could this be
this reoccuring fantasy
flashes amidst a world of slumber
dreams of your face in mid-summer

The deafening pink and melted orange
of a homesick and sunless sky entrances
without light the day begins
as portable melodies call for my presence
that teasing smile and honest laugh
outshine the stars tonight
your soul rivals the moon
and I've told you this
under the influence of love, nothing more
intoxicated interestless eyes
move about shrugging all away
a sigh of relief bids adieu to festivities
leaving only my eyes to turn upon
a mid-summer night
A song weaver serenades a return journey
all in memory the music resounds
as my day ends as it began
with you on my mind.

(This will be set to music sometime and, perhaps my band will play it. I hope you all enjoy and let me know what you think)


nice use of muffin



© Copyright 2005 John Lervezuk - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2005-07-06 05:28 AM


a bit long for a song
but I'm sure you can pull it off

good luck to ya'll

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2005-07-06 08:25 AM


I don't mind it's length...what I do enjoy about this, is the way it does seem to happen that way...you can be anywhere, doing anything, without thought, perhaps busy, preoccupied, and for no reason what so ever, the reoccurance of a time and place you were together, all of a sudden materializes in the mind's eye...as if the thought had a will of it's own...

Yes, this was a significant write...sometime, the heart must bleed until it's dry

beautifully expressed and felt.

Don_Juan
Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252
Far from where I am going
3 posted 2005-07-06 02:14 PM


I wanted to make a somewhat epic song (Extra long) about something that is fairly simple. I do think that musically it can be pulled off and since it's a suite the song will be a bit more music orientated. Thank you both for dropping and taking a look at my project.
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
4 posted 2005-07-08 10:08 AM


I think it is beautiful.

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

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