navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » Dragonseed
Open Poetry #36
Post A Reply Post New Topic Dragonseed Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-07-05 03:39 AM


For better and for worse it is
a kindred of become
the 'biz'
of the greatest show there is
was
and never
ever-bees

abuzz

the greatest show that ever was

almost written perfectly
turning corners in my mind--
the heroine was left behind

(the heroin was left behind)

and my strokes of keys are pleas
veiled behind the lids of my
pupils begging lessons bleed
from iris spears across the sky

chase the feet of dragonseed

walk circles of maternity
shimmering the algae veil

for better and for worse it is--

(what bastard child is this?)

It is

a circle ever widening...

beaches ever narrowing

swallowing the greed

I need

shells to leave behind.



© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2005-07-05 04:59 AM


dang lady
what an ending!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2005-07-05 06:01 AM


OMG, oh WOW

speechless

smack me in the face why don't ya..

sigh

Brilliant M'Lady

mxx

drove me like a magnet
to the sea

~stevie nicks~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2005-07-05 07:52 AM


and my strokes of keys are pleas
veiled behind the lids of my
pupils begging lessons bleed
from iris spears across the sky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh girlie....
you rock, you rock, you rock ...

Writers try to capture the exhilaration of Nature & inspiration of Love.
The attempts may be futile, the endeavors are all things that is poetry.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2005-07-05 07:56 AM


serenity,
Agree with what JM said and a from me.

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
5 posted 2005-07-05 08:22 AM


quote:
and my strokes of keys are pleas
veiled behind the lids of my
pupils begging lessons bleed
from iris spears across the sky


serenity, this is precious and awesome. i wanna keep this to savour this stanza over and over again!

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2005-07-05 09:29 AM


While the above stanza is magnificent, this was the one that drew my attention

~*~

chase the feet of dragonseed

walk circles of maternity
shimmering the algae veil

for better and for worse it is--

~*~

possibly because of the veil of it...

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2005-07-05 09:43 AM


enjoyed
Triskaidekaphobia
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...
8 posted 2005-07-05 11:03 AM


Ummm... I am unsure whether I just read this or not... Could there be something this good on PIP? It seems so unlikely.

*Stunned*

Unique and perfect. Constructive critiques! You dont need critiques, not if this is your usual fare!

"the heroine was left behind

(the heroin was left behind)"

I love this pairing!

How do you do it?


  


"And the sun went down, and the stars came out far over the summer sea,
But never a moment ceased the fight of the one and the fifty-three."
      

Cloud 9
Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980
Ca
9 posted 2005-07-05 05:03 PM


Amazing!!!
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2005-07-06 09:05 AM


chase the feet of dragonseed

walk circles of maternity
shimmering the algae veil

for better and for worse it is--


You are magnificant!  


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2005-07-06 09:10 AM


"It is

a circle ever widening...

beaches ever narrowing

swallowing the greed

I need

shells to leave behind."

Fantastic write Ser!!!
Hugs YOU!

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
12 posted 2005-07-06 11:36 AM


Serenity...Yep...The hurricane season is here again... Take Care and be safe. You sure have a hell of a way of writing, but thats a good thing...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
13 posted 2005-07-06 02:32 PM


"For better and for worse it is
a kindred of become
the 'biz'
of the greatest show there is
was
and never
ever-bees

abuzz"

this stanza made me think of marriage...

"and my strokes of keys are pleas
veiled behind the lids of my
pupils begging lessons bleed
from iris spears across the sky"

made me think of all the ways we (people in general) cry out for help and are never heard...

"strokes of keys are pleas"

freakin' brilliant!   love you.


Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
14 posted 2005-07-06 11:26 PM


almost written perfectly
turning corners in my mind--
the heroine was left behind

(the heroin was left behind)


That part it sticks to me....enjoyed the rest of course...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
15 posted 2005-07-07 01:24 AM


V I V I D !  in awe.......jojo
adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
16 posted 2005-07-18 08:13 PM


UH-OH
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
17 posted 2005-07-18 08:41 PM


The Goddess plants in each and every one of us that same dragonseed that when cared for by an open mind and heart eventually let's us really know ourselves.   Although we leave things behind it is all part of the spiritual process that puts us in sync and connects us to all life forms including the Earth Goddess Gaia herself.  Not unlike that very dragonseed, you possess not only the strength, and knowledge, but the power to control this process even if during, you will need and bleed       Did that make sense?  In a nutshell, trusting one's instincts gets the job finished. So?  Am I close?

Loved this by the way.

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
18 posted 2005-07-18 09:59 PM


This and more is why I keep coming back

Thank You K for touching my soul tonight

it's weary and heavy from to many things to count...

Love,
T

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

19 posted 2005-07-21 03:35 AM


Forgive my tardiness?

Thanks all, for reading.

Hand*over*heart

curtsey...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

20 posted 2005-07-27 08:09 AM


i repeat....Brilliant!!

gosh, you collapse me.

sigh m'lady, just sighhh

mxx

take bread away from me, if you wish, take air away. but do not take from me your laughter.

~neruda~

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
21 posted 2005-07-27 08:47 AM


this touches
an awesome write

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

yv
Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574

22 posted 2005-07-27 09:12 AM


Oh wow...magnificent!!  I was captivated...I must say!

Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
23 posted 2005-07-27 10:36 PM


ok what I have to say about this is probably way off mark and my comments would be edited . . . BUT . . . but

behind the lids is what got me, K
behind those lids . . .
heavy hidden darkened deep deep lids

you know what I mean?

(loved this btw, it took me to lots of places)

Magician
Member
since 2002-08-14
Posts 126

24 posted 2005-07-27 11:21 PM


Wow......always.
redheart angrybraids
Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410
honolulu, hawaii
25 posted 2005-07-31 05:00 AM


i'm going to let this simmer and inspire me,
thank you. violet
kindly, amelia

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
26 posted 2005-07-31 01:52 PM



Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
27 posted 2005-07-31 02:13 PM


Thank you also for bring Amelia out of the woodwork with your inspire too!  Came to read it again, and read it an entirely different way, but then that is what Geminis do to ya.

Awesome lady!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
28 posted 2005-08-01 04:24 PM



You never cease to amaze me...

Miss you, Karen...

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #36 » Dragonseed

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary