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Open Poetry #35
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2005-06-30 04:52 PM


In darkness complete off the stormy street
He lit the waiting candle so long and thin,
Hidden from shadows behind drawn windows,
Yet the thunder sound kept rolling in.
The power failed and the sirens wailed
Leaving but the lone flickering light
Then there came the battering rain
Sounding pounding deep into the night.

More light he’ll need if perchance to read
The tomes of long forgotten lore,
So the flame did share with another taper there
And he went searching for even more;
Walking with care up the dark rising stair
To the highest room where he did store;
Through window did flash followed by thunder crash
As bright streaks danced across the floor.

There should be more candles there put away with care
In an old dresser of many memories from time,
Memories of far places and pictures of young faces
That had grown old everywhere but in his mind.
In folded cloths once worn soon after he was born
And the booties in which his first step was took
This was the wrong drawer, no candles did it store,
So he shut it quickly and in another place did look.

In another strobe lighting it gave him a brief sighting
Of an old oil lamp upon the table across the room,
It was then he realized the dark had tricked his eyes
And he had somehow entered into the wrong room.
It could not have been fate, it was just dark and late,
Perhaps nothing but a bit of smoke distorting his view,
The lamped gave its light pushing back the dark of night
And he saw many things old at once anew.

The room wasn’t bare with walls of books and several chairs,
A rug from an Aunt only known from his childhood days,
An old sofa and loveseat hidden under an off white sheet,
Steamer trunks and cardboard boxes long since put away.
There were pictures on the wall he had trouble to recall
Of where or when they had come into his keeping,
This was a mild mystery which this time did not need to be
It would soon be time for him to be sleeping.

Blowing out the lamp light only his candle against the night
Walked out the room and across the narrow hallway
Opening the door wide to where his mirrors did hide
The flickering on the silvery surfaces did play,
He gathered the wax cylinders and quickly left there,
Where to many self images had reflected chance to roam,
Then there in the living room many candles against the gloom,
When suddenly electricity relit his home.

The storm had abated, its fierceness for now sated,
And all was returning to what was before the storm,
Yet after such a great spill the air had a touch of chill
And a smell of ozone where the sky was torn,
So with a puff of breath sent the flame to its death,
Leaving the wax pillars there where they stood
With the dying of the rain he took up his cane
And went for a stroll in the neighborhood.

Gloom


© Copyright 2005 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2005-06-30 07:34 PM


I enjoyed this so much! You tell a story very well, and for me? This would have taken forever to write!
a keeper...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-06-30 08:18 PM


This had the beginning of Poe's sound...

and since you encourage Critique...

and while we ALL know that my ear is sometimes thumpy at best , a few
small revisions could be made to tighten
this up...

want me to send my thoughts to you?

Or just leave you be?

So good to read you!


Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
3 posted 2005-06-30 09:53 PM


Thank you Sea
Pleased you enjoyed,
I did take a bit of time with this story,
Prose taking most of my writing these day.

Thank you, Sunshine
Always a joy to see your comments
I would be pleased to receive your thoughts of improvement.

Gloom

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2005-07-01 09:38 PM


Storms can be clensing and memories have their place....interesting write, Gloomy guy.   ....jo
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