Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
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0
posted
2005-06-25
05:34 PM
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Fun House Lore
I am threading the design my eyes closed feeling my way within the air of your voice what choice to take this tired eagle I am and touch a feather or two to you to feel the flying still vibrating true
It can be so long to the ridge of sky the way is how I want to fly and the glass at the end gets bigger a mirror on and on of me scared and wanting out around I go in bumping into myself again maybe there is no end
In and out and in I remember the din of laughter and music so sweet sometimes I just want to rock down to my back and do the sway the swing I lack
I am holding on to one true thing just me and I and then again within
I used to be out of tune but now I just don’t care if I blare and beep or even call out-loud some crazy bird will hear me and investigate maybe even start a riot by the tall tree with me still seeing with my eyes shut hands out in want of you in braille
but what if I fail?
[This message has been edited by Balladeer (07-03-2005 12:18 AM).]
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© Copyright
2005
Martie Odell Ingebretsen
- All Rights Reserved
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
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1
posted
2005-06-25
05:54 PM
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Fail?
~*~
I am holding on to one true thing just me and I and then again within
~*~
Don't think it's possible to fail, sweetie... because when we try, the only failure might be is within our own mind.
But that you try, proves you didn't truly fail yourself...
Now, again...
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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2
posted
2005-06-25
05:54 PM
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"bumping into myself again"
Once? I broke a mirror for that very reason--but then there was just that much more of me...
love you sweet marite
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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
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3
posted
2005-06-25
06:00 PM
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"...but what if I fail?"
You can not.
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SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453
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4
posted
2005-06-25
06:59 PM
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Failure you say? Failure is a blessing that invokes us to achieve greater results. SG
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sweetpoetess
Member
since 2005-02-27
Posts 428
Florida
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5
posted
2005-06-25
08:04 PM
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Awesome write my friend.Poetry is beauty in words.
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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6
posted
2005-06-25
09:39 PM
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Martie fail?
oh hell no
you are incredible
love this and you
mxxOh, you speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhymes My body aches to breathe your breath Your words keep me alive ~Sarah McLachlan~
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iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
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7
posted
2005-06-25
09:48 PM
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I love the analogy, Martie! You will not fail! ....jo
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Ratleader
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
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8
posted
2005-06-26
12:37 PM
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What a trip through desperation this poem is -- lost in the funhouse is no place to be, whether you're a kid or a grownup....and you capture the oh-my-god of it, as it can come to us in life far away from any carnival....beautifully conceived and written.
But even at the risk of sounding simple-minded and shallow...
.....perhaps all you really need to do is, stop this frantic chasing and let a grown-up rescue you...it means you'd have to trust someone, but even that isn't impossible, you know, even in the funhouse -- take it from one who knows.
And if you fail....you'll stop, and presently someone will come for you.
~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________
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passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
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9
posted
2005-06-26
02:38 AM
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a write well done
wonderfully said
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Marge Tindal
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
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10
posted
2005-06-26
07:38 PM
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MartieSis~ You dress up your thoughts and put them on stage for me to to enjoy and then simply stand back and applaud~
You are poetry~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left. - Sufi epigram <))><
Email noles1@totcon.com
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suthern
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
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11
posted
2005-06-27
08:49 AM
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a mirror on and on of me scared and wanting out around I go in bumping into myself again maybe there is no end
Having fallen into a House of Horrors where there is an end but no relief, this turns me inside out with knowing the confusion and fear...
I wish better days and a peaceful heart for you... this is a fantastic write!
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Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
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12
posted
2005-06-27
08:55 AM
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Some fun house mirrors aren't all they're cracked up to be!
Seriously speaking, Marvellous Martie, please remember that "Failure" is an "F" word! ~ and you, Dear One, will always be a success in whatever you do!
You have a talent extraordinaire!
Sending you a humongous hug of love, Linda
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LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296
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13
posted
2005-06-27
10:14 AM
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It can be so long to the ridge of sky the way is how I want to fly and the glass at the end gets bigger a mirror on and on of me scared and wanting out around I go in bumping into myself again maybe there is no end
a true to life write that you describe so well with images life like
what if you fail? Maybe failure is a new beginning? I prefer to call it stumbling...but in your case, darlin...your humble qualities and caring heart, will keep you on course...love...Lee J.
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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554
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14
posted
2005-06-27
10:54 AM
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with me still seeing with my eyes shut hands out in want of you in brail ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
oh man........... oh how I wish I had wrote that.... talk about defining the need.... awesome introspective write dear poetess.
Writers try to capture the exhilaration of Nature & inspiration of Love. The attempts may be futile, the endeavors are all things that is poetry.
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Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
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15
posted
2005-07-02
11:29 AM
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Martie - lots of substance here with lots to ponder - you write so wonderfully - hope your seeking found helpful results - Paul[This message has been edited by Goodknight (07-03-2005 07:23 PM).]
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ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
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16
posted
2005-07-03
02:54 PM
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"I am holding on to one true thing just me and I and then again within"
The whole idea is very nicely put across Martie.
Eric
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