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Open Poetry #35
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Ratleader
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0 posted 2005-06-14 11:37 PM


waiting, tense
still perched on the wall
                   gray, ready
dove watches
ready…gray…waiting…tense…perched
in her own shadow



© Copyright 2005 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
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1 posted 2005-06-14 11:39 PM


Snow....boy am I glad I decided to take a fresh look at your work. Finding this form alone made it worthwhile.

Every group has its assets....some, like you, are hidden treasures.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Ratleader
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2 posted 2005-06-14 11:42 PM


Oh, and here are the instructions our lady of the ice gave:

"this is called a Shadorma, it's a Spanish form.
6 lines with a syllable count of 3/5/3/3/7/5, if
anyone is interested in trying it."



~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
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suthern
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Louisiana
3 posted 2005-06-15 09:18 AM


You're a treasure yourself, yanno. *G* And this is absolutely beautiful!!!

Being the wordy type, I think I'd rather read them than try to write them... but I hope you both continue! *S*

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2005-06-15 09:27 AM


astounding, and I to, love the form...of what you speak of...hehe

seriously, this was in it's own class...and well done!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-06-15 09:31 AM


I have always been a fan of Snow's work and this form is one of those reasons Ed. Thank you for gifting us with another poet who does this form extremely well and I hope we see more of these from you!  

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

bslicker
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state of mind
6 posted 2005-06-15 10:02 AM


good job
enjoyed
bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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California
7 posted 2005-06-15 11:08 AM


Ed

As you know, I love doves.  This really captures them!  

Ericc
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since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

8 posted 2005-06-15 12:55 PM


Awesome write Ed!

Eric

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2005-06-15 01:21 PM


Ed~
Fantabulous !!!!

And our LadySnow IS a treasure (hidden or not) ... thank you for this~

LadySnow ... I visit your site often~


*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

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