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Open Poetry #35
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you remind me of fire and rain
| Open Poetry #35 |
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you remind me of fire and rain |
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Greeneyes  
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind 
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This morning I woke up thinking of you sipping your coffee sitting by the window day dreaming you know right? that feeling of being alone waiting for life, for the color to seep in-to your black heart we share that darkness the heavy rains have not come yet and you pray; I imagine you looking to the skies in a frame of silence through folds of light, a chorus of ruin So I began to sing fire and rain (JT) and watched your eyes as the heart-aches of life flowed over you the night already green it is not him who counts hours but what happens between them when they are drawn together standing behind glass watching the wall of flames there is no water but we thirst and look among the hollows for relief against the walls of your chest where dusk has settled better yet against the rope of night I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn because we insist on the ripple of color to lead to rain and love did not lead or heal but merely failed us into believing fire was stronger I keep a fragrance bottle my muse gave me when I met him in endless winter and he settled me into remembering who I am. |
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| © Copyright 2005 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I love JT, so I knew I would love this write excellent! a keeper! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I imagine you looking to the skies **in a frame of silence through folds of light, a chorus of ruin** So I began to sing fire and rain (JT) **and watched your eyes as the heart-aches of life flowed over you** the night already green **it is not him who counts hours but what happens between them when they are drawn together** standing behind glass watching the wall of flames ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ against the walls of your chest where dusk has settled better yet against the rope of night **I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn** because we insist on the ripple of color to lead to rain **and love did not lead or heal** but merely failed us into believing fire was stronger ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ OH-MY-LORD ..... oh girlie....... it is not him who counts hours but what happens between them when they are drawn together oh Lauren .... I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn myohmyohmyohmy .... ohhowilovewhenyouwritelikethis.... (iwihwt!!) but only you could.......   Dont give up on me ... I'm about to come alive ... Train |
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WindWalker Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 1218 |
This was realy good; well crafted! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
May I echo what JM said? ...and double it. Fantastic lovely lady! ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
hi dixie thanKS, his music mellows me out  ~ JM sigh, I am so glad you saw this one....one of those nights-- you know though, and I am thankful....miss you, and reading you hugssss and love ~ hi windwalker thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your comment ~ hi pretty lady of course, and thank you  ~~~ muuwwwaaahhhsss and hugssssss I keep a fragrance bottle my |
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Canuckster Member
since 2002-01-09
Posts 285New Mexico, USA |
a beautifully crafter poem with metaphores galore and tied to the physical experience of the reader. I salute this poem and your talent in putting it together. never try to teach a pig to sing |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
This morning I woke up thinking of you sipping your coffee sitting by the window day dreaming you know right? that feeling of being alone waiting for life, for the color to seep in-to your black heart we share that darkness the heavy rains have not come yet and you pray; You already knew I wouldn't have the words for this... damn Lady L...  sis....I really want to care, I want to feel something, let me dig a little deeper nah, still nothing~ my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee |
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coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Beautiful write, Greeneyes. JT has been one of my favs since back when he had all his hair, .CB 8) "If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it." |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: Your thoughts so deep, your poem so vivid. Beautiful! Love, Margherita |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
HI..Just stopped in for a poetry fix, and surely I hit on just the right one. This is perfect. Sandra |
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aujussy wolf
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215Michigan |
wowsa .... my heart melted to this one ..you always seem to start a fire with your words ...how real it feels ...your getting too good lol ...peace L ....howlin doc-wolfy much love too |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Lauren... Amazing. Like a conversation in slow motion, your technique for getting one to slow down and take it all in, just Amazing. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
it is not him who counts hours but what happens between them when they are drawn together ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I could almost touch you then, taste your religion but then I remember the memory will outlast the burn ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ just me again.... had to come back and savor the beauty of your words... Dont give up on me ... I'm about to come alive ... |
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