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Open Poetry #35
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2005-06-09 12:42 PM


She bowed her head only
When the high winds I cannot feel
Blew against her to set braided hair in streams to fly
And I sat underneath the edges of her will
Bathed in shady solace grafted to the clouds
Finding the silence within myself
Too much to explain but as the whorl
Of some high walled eye she was yet to build
And I was too small to own
Should she pass it over me and glance
With interest at the small heart I was

Yet inside this still
I embraced the roil of dark bottomed chill
She sent in front of a rage time would loose
Along thick stemmed grass and deep rooted fir

Naked in the draft of plains
She stood as if motionless
Breathing in and out again her rain
Where I wet my hands
Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say but in the silence
Deep within my storm soaked soul
Leaving only paragraphs to dry slow
From fingertips that rose and fell against
The softer spellings of love

Low she howled
The glyphs she wrote on sky
And I watched your eyes move in time with shadows
Scattered across white walls
In a moan of unwritten tomes
Stretched along lips in a beg
Of being spoken out loud

I found then the quiet pools of you
And washed myself within the runnelled strands
Gaining again…

One more moment inside the thoughts of you
And one more refrain of silence
            Sung in summer’s rain


© Copyright 2005 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
1 posted 2005-06-09 12:48 PM


Oh my gosh...this is absolutely stunning...I have read it three times now and experienced different emotions each time...There is pain and healing and tenderness filled with the deepness of who you are...Amazing...Another read that will continue to be read...*hugs*

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2005-06-09 12:55 PM




you have a very very large and deepend heart, from such loving experiences...

this was indeed, marvelous and a treasure found...


babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
3 posted 2005-06-09 12:57 PM


Chief~

words that seem to draw a low roll of distant thunder thru the mind...absolutely captivating...

feeling this, deeply~
*baby

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
4 posted 2005-06-09 12:58 PM


quote:
One more moment inside the thoughts of you
And one more refrain of silence
            Sung in summer’s rain


Oh!  I love this...

Keep um coming

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

5 posted 2005-06-09 12:58 PM


Breathing in and out again her rain
Where I wet my hands
Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say but in the silence
Deep within my storm soaked soul
Leaving only paragraphs to dry slow
From fingertips that rose and fell against
The softer spellings of love


To describe how your words affect the reader is seemingly impossible but yet I felt the need to let you know that they do make the reader FEEL.  It is not just read, but absorbed and dwelled on, and tucked into the mind and then pulled out again later

that is usually, when I sit and say...

damn....how does he do that.    

You sir, are talent defined.
Thank you for sharing such talent here in
these pages of blue.  Always, no matter whether the sun is shining out or not,
there is beauty to be found in your words...

oh sheesh...I'll shut up now....


I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2005-06-09 01:29 PM


thank you all...for the read..and the nice words.. words I'm not sure this or the series deserve.. but thank you..so very much..

G Spirit..lol... you keep talking to me that way..I'm going to get the big head or something.... you are really...truly..far too kind... thank you ma'am...

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2005-06-09 01:46 PM


kind perhaps Capt, but remember also,
very honest..

yeah, your work is worthy of the praise
  ...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2005-06-09 02:00 PM


"Where I wet my hands
Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say but in the silence
Deep within my storm soaked soul
Leaving only paragraphs to dry slow
From fingertips that rose and fell against
The softer spellings of love"

Damn...here I go again..stuck for words,
but..not for the feelings your work evokes.
Hugs~N

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2005-06-09 02:06 PM


Breathing in and out again her rain
Where I wet my hands
Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say ...

~*~

The wet aching
of these particular lines
leaves that particular
feeling of haunting touch,
and solemn tone...

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
10 posted 2005-06-10 06:32 AM


Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say but in the silence
Deep within my storm soaked soul
Leaving only paragraphs to dry slow
From fingertips that rose and fell against
The softer spellings of love


You leave me mesmerized
I am to see such beauty~ARH

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take - but by the moments that take our breath away."

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
11 posted 2005-06-10 08:39 AM


"I found then the quiet pools of you
And washed myself within the runnelled strands
Gaining again…

One more moment inside the thoughts of you
And one more refrain of silence
            Sung in summer’s rain"

becoming a part of the rain...what a wickedly wonderful thought...just as it is to become a part of another.  




"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
12 posted 2005-06-14 09:21 AM


missed this one!

back to the top.


~tier

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2005-06-14 09:24 AM


I found then the quiet pools of you
And washed myself within the runnelled strands
Gaining again…

One more moment inside the thoughts of you
And one more refrain of silence
            Sung in summer’s rain

I keep a fragrance bottle my
muse gave me when I met him
in endless winter and he
settled me into remembering
who I am.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2005-06-14 11:44 PM


Naked in the draft of plains
She stood as if motionless
Breathing in and out again her rain
Where I wet my hands
Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say but in the silence
Deep within my storm soaked soul
Leaving only paragraphs to dry slow
From fingertips that rose and fell against
The softer spellings of love

Low she howled
The glyphs she wrote on sky
And I watched your eyes move in time with shadows
Scattered across white walls
In a moan of unwritten tomes
Stretched along lips in a beg
Of being spoken out loud

I found then the quiet pools of you
And washed myself within the runnelled strands
Gaining again…

One more moment inside the thoughts of you
And one more refrain of silence
            Sung in summer’s rain


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the vocabulary in this is as impressive as it is captivating...as is the imagery and intensity
(the sensual undercurrent)....the employ of rain and poetry as your theme and metaphor, and the way you tie it all together to express the emotion is poetically brilliant.
I do believe this whole series is among your best...(on a very long list.)



Dont give up on me ... I'm about to come alive ...

Train

babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
15 posted 2005-06-15 07:34 AM


~had to hit this agin...Chief~

**baby

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
16 posted 2005-06-22 11:31 PM


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
17 posted 2005-06-23 01:26 AM


This brought tears to my eyes, I swear to God:

Breathing in and out again her rain
Where I wet my hands
Then painted the scent of summer on your skin
In words I could not say but in the silence
Deep within my storm soaked soul
Leaving only paragraphs to dry slow
From fingertips that rose and fell against
The softer spellings of love


Ron, have you ever seen the movie, "American Beauty" where the boy speaks of seeing so much beauty in darkness?  

Well, this is what you write . . .

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