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Open Poetry #35
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ThunderMage
Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812
Canada

0 posted 2005-06-08 03:23 PM


It was a text freestyle rap (a keystyle) at the time, but I guess it isn't a true freestyle now. LOL! Anyway, this one's got clean lyrics, and in a way it's to help support my suggestion of a rap forum, because in a lot of ways, rap is just another form of poetry. Anyway, here's the verse I typed for that special person.

Aiyo...

It started while I was away from my home,
A fire burnin' in my heart as I was out ta roam.
It was that day when we first met, somehow I jus' knew
That all I ever wanted all my life was waitin' there in you,
So I hooked up wit' my crew, I knew I'd found love,
Knew I'd found the girl I'd always been dreamin' of,
And again, jus' like before, I went and made mistakes,
But now I seen the truth an' I'ma do whatever it takes.
Ever since that day, my life's been turnin' right around,
I was caught up in a twista, couldn't even SEE the ground,
But then it started turnin' like some kinda angry tornado
The second that you needed me I was red as a tomato,
And all because I knew I loved you right from the start,
But all the pain back in my past clouded my brain and my heart.
I never knew that I could ever feel a love like this,
Never knew my life could turn around with just one little kiss,
If I could do it all again, relive all the pain,
It'd be worth takin' the hits ta see you smilin' again,
It'd be worth it though I know I'd do it better
Just ta have you in my life forever, always be together.

Okay, now a bit of news... Julie and I are no longer together. In fact, we don't even talk now, but that may be for the best with how things turned out. This rap was for someone else in my life. Anyway, as all us rappers say... I'm out... PEACE!

© Copyright 2005 Liam Hall - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2005-06-08 04:15 PM



I actually heard the rhythmic sound of rap while I read ...

You have done this very well and the text is quite captivating.

Wishing you well then for the new love in your life!

Love, Margherita

ThunderMage
Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812
Canada
2 posted 2005-06-08 05:57 PM


I've gotten fairly good at rap lately. This was the first mushy rap I ever did where you could feel the beat. LOL! But to be honest, it's not going as well as I'd hoped at the moment... but I can be a patient person that way, and she's worth the wait.

What is life without poetry and adventure?
"Little sister" is just another way of saying "Guardian Angel"!

ThunderMage
Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812
Canada
3 posted 2005-06-08 06:03 PM


Things aren't going as well as I'd hoped, but better than I'd have expected earlier on in the whole thing. LOL

What is life without poetry and adventure?
"Little sister" is just another way of saying "Guardian Angel"!

ThunderMage
Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812
Canada
4 posted 2005-06-08 06:03 PM


Things aren't going as well as I'd hoped, but better than I'd have expected earlier on in the whole thing. LOL

What is life without poetry and adventure?
"Little sister" is just another way of saying "Guardian Angel"!

ThunderMage
Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812
Canada
5 posted 2005-06-08 06:03 PM


Things aren't going as well as I'd hoped, but better than I'd have expected earlier on in the whole thing. LOL

What is life without poetry and adventure?
"Little sister" is just another way of saying "Guardian Angel"!

ThunderMage
Senior Member
since 2002-06-20
Posts 812
Canada
6 posted 2005-06-08 06:04 PM


Sorry about all the replies... my browser keeps messing up on me here. :P

What is life without poetry and adventure?
"Little sister" is just another way of saying "Guardian Angel"!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2005-06-10 12:57 PM


Nice...James
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