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Open Poetry #35
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2005-05-21 05:57 PM



Maybe a dream of heaven
an image of earth

broken and cracked

longing is a lonely word

like the blue  of fall
such as clouds passing
in   lost night/s
such as night/s

Inside a soul with
deep chambers
the forgotten place  you seek
the realms of which you write
the passing of what was

but all the clocks are set
                      so endured
in black and white
all depends on fate
even the moon searches for answers
stirring the water to meet its reflection



He               loved and left his heart
for all to see
yet I am still lonely
he               loved and held his guitar
with strings of song and peace
what I try to believe
I wish I could grasp hisbeauty


and night falls the ground
with shimmering pearls
to those who search
                 marking day and night
and their hunger to dance  together
and the walls around me will fall
silent and embrace all  shadows

my soul can not melt
these invisible colors
as I sit and wait for rain

to dissolve all green to gold


when my thought/s lead the grace
of our dance behind such mirrors
of eye
~
and I              wish for your lips
to take my breath away

~~**~~

just because


I came from the mountain
The crust of creation
My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone

© Copyright 2005 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2005-05-21 06:05 PM


"Longing" may be a lonely word, but you explored its endeavours with such infinite grace, dear Lauren, that I feel oneness as a result of reading your wonderful write.

Love, Margherita

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2005-05-21 09:21 PM


"my soul can not melt
these invisible colors
as I sit and wait for rain

to dissolve all green to gold


when my thought/s lead the grace
of our dance behind such mirrors
of eye
~
and I              wish for your lips
to take my breath away
~~**~~

just because"

amazing...totally and completely amazing

this is awesome

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2005-05-22 10:26 AM


simple beautiful -

S

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2005-05-22 10:27 AM


Lauren, I read this earlier and absorbed it fully
awesome piece, I need to say

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2005-05-22 07:54 PM


"to dissolve all green to gold"

yes

an alchemy

You write so beautifully lovely Lauren.


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2005-05-22 08:47 PM


Greeneyes
Lovely poem and picture.

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2005-05-23 12:02 PM


At a loss here

So, I'll merely echo what's been said. Though, it seems inadequate

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2005-05-23 01:10 PM


Maybe a dream of heaven
an image of earth

broken and cracked

longing is a lonely word


like the blue  of fall
such as clouds passing
in   lost night/s
such as night/s

Inside a soul with
deep chambers
the forgotten place  you seek
the realms of which you write
the passing of what was


damn L~ you already know without me saying
how deeply this one touches me...
and only you have the grace to write this with such beauty...

know my sister.....how much I FEEL this one with you...sigh..




I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2005-05-23 02:13 PM


offering a hug for this heartache

"and the walls around me will fall
silent and embrace all  shadows"

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

10 posted 2005-05-23 07:25 PM


An awesome write.

Eric

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2005-05-23 09:41 PM


Such a lovely write..
from an equally lovely lady.
Hugs~Nancy

Life is one great big canvas;
throw all the paint on it you can.
                    -Danny Kaye

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2005-05-24 12:00 PM


even the moon searches for answers
stirring the water to meet its reflection


He               loved and left his heart
for all to see
yet I am still lonely
he               loved and held his guitar
with strings of song and peace
what I try to believe
I wish I could grasp hisbeauty


and night falls the ground
with shimmering pearls
to those who search
                 marking day and night
and their hunger to dance  together
and the walls around me will fall
silent and embrace all  shadows

my soul can not melt
these invisible colors
as I sit and wait for rain

to dissolve all green to gold


when my thought/s lead the grace
of our dance behind such mirrors
of eye
~
and I              wish for your lips
to take my breath away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*sigh*
your poetry takes my breath away.
oh and.....
I was reading our duet the other day in my library...thank you again for that delightful dance.

I am sure of my reasons, embracing the seasons,
and the sacred simplicity of you at my side.

Vienna Teng

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2005-05-25 12:15 PM


Nice...James
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

14 posted 2005-05-25 09:08 AM


sighs....this Lauren is a master piece, spoken directly from the words of Venus


vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
15 posted 2005-05-25 12:31 PM


liked it
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
16 posted 2005-05-25 12:48 PM


Exquisite Lauren!
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

17 posted 2005-05-26 08:28 AM


I just needed to feel this one again today my sweet sister...

back to the top it goes....so that more may enjoy it's beauty.  

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2005-05-26 09:06 AM


"and I              wish for your lips
to take my breath away"

~ An audible sigh escaped my own lips with your closing lines...


Linda

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
19 posted 2005-05-26 11:36 AM


Lauren~

Very, very lovely~

'even the moon searches for answers
stirring the water to meet its reflection'


This leave poetic *sighs*~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
20 posted 2005-05-26 06:36 PM


Absolutely beautiful, Lauren.

Take care....Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
21 posted 2005-05-26 07:56 PM


Beautiful sentiments.. my adice?

Hug a kitty very tight... no... tighter... no... tighter still... that's it... now little kitty knows your frustration... tighter....  lol

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
22 posted 2005-05-26 11:11 PM


sighssss
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
23 posted 2005-05-31 01:48 PM


longing is a lonely word

like the blue  of fall
such as clouds passing
in   lost night/s
such as night/s

Inside a soul with
deep chambers
the forgotten place  you seek
the realms of which you write
the passing of what was

Oh my, I have no words.  How utterly sad this aching,
and how eloquently you captured the heart break,
in all it's beauty...as if it were.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
24 posted 2005-06-07 04:02 PM


Oh my, its been a long time since I read something so eloquent. I feel the longing within. "even the moon searches for answers". I love that line. All of them, in fact.
Sandra

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
25 posted 2005-06-07 04:09 PM


Ever read something that is so simplistic yet so full of meaning that as it's meaning seeps in it makes you gasp with realization?

This line was that for me:

"longing is a lonely word"

longing and lonely...two words I lived and breathed.

Very well done Lauren, as usual.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
26 posted 2005-06-07 07:37 PM


luv to all with many thanks for taking your time to read....hugssss

I keep a fragrance bottle my
muse gave me when I met him
in endless winter and he
settled me into remembering
who I am.

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