navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » GENERATION GAP
Open Poetry #35
Post A Reply Post New Topic GENERATION GAP Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Laoha
Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 161
Nevada, USA

0 posted 2005-05-01 03:15 AM


MY WROTE:

Two Swans

Flying
high above the clouds,

Nobody told me
that the truth seeking is
so lonely
and so long.

Lucky, I have you
by my side
to remind me
from time to time
that you are not
the only one with me.

Besides you,
there is the glory of the sun.


MY SON WROTE:


Two birds fly up high.
I don’t know if a dragon comes by.
One bird dies and the other one cries.
That’s the story of two birds flying up in the sky.

LAOHA'S PEN


© Copyright 2005 Xiaoqing M. Li - All Rights Reserved
timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
1 posted 2005-05-01 03:39 AM


Well yours is beautiful... but your son's is simple and unique....

I like both, but then I tend to lean toward the simple sometimes...

Thanks for sharing you and your son with us!!




Choose to live, and love and all the in betweens.  Dry your eyes, and shelter your heart and let the pendulum swing.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
2 posted 2005-05-01 05:11 AM


Laoha

Your poem is on subject and well written,,,,I enjoy metaphor greatly, your story lines fits the title perfectly....

And your sons is not as simple as the surface of its words, as I read it. I see the promise of a poet that might be following fathers footsteps....

enjoyed
-----------ice
   ><>

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2005-05-01 10:08 AM


What we look at changes in the eyes of the observer. And no doubt different generations perceive things differently.
Very well done.
Love, Margherita

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

4 posted 2005-05-02 04:44 PM


Two birds flying up in the sky
Watched by us

They have learnt to fly

Dave

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2005-05-02 04:46 PM


just beautiful
thanks for sharing

adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
6 posted 2005-05-02 04:57 PM


Very much enjoyed the multiple perspective.

well done!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2005-05-02 11:59 PM


Both are beautiful writes, of different attitudes. Nice metaphor, reflective of each soul as a solo flyer, and as a member of a tightly knit flock.
Laoha
Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 161
Nevada, USA
8 posted 2005-05-03 01:48 AM


yes, indeed!

LAOHA'S PEN


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
9 posted 2005-05-03 01:49 AM


Enjoyed...James
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #35 » GENERATION GAP

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary