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Open Poetry #35
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Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2005-04-30 09:01 AM



Toe said, "I never get a date.
My face makes girls regurgitate.
There is some secret potion needed here."
He figured if he got them drunk
They wouldn't see him as a skunk
So that's why ourToerag invented beer.

He had a first date with the daughter
Of a gal named Estee Lauder.
Fish died when he walked in the room.
Lauder choked and said, "Oh, hell!!
I must defeat that evil smell!"
And that's how Toe helped to invent perfume!

Toe tried to write some lines one time
And did his best to make them rhyme
But all agreed it couldn't be much worse.
He said, "Ok, it's very clear
I'll never be a Balladeer."
Then called his rhyming offerings "free verse".

There's just one thing I'd like to know
One little fact before I go.
I'm sure all here would like to know it, too.
Though you've invented many things
From birth control to bath tub rings
Toe....who invented YOU?????



© Copyright 2005 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2005-04-30 09:06 AM


Balladeer
You wake up with wit too? Enjoyed the read.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2005-04-30 09:13 AM


and WHO invented you????


M

Balladeer
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since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2005-04-30 09:17 AM


Sy, no...I just have dreams of insulting Toerag!

Maureen...you got it right - the World Health Organization

freewheelin
Member
since 2005-04-09
Posts 53

4 posted 2005-04-30 10:25 AM


lol, u dont see a lot of good funny poems nowadays. this is truly a very respectable effort. well done.
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2005-04-30 12:15 PM



'Deer..you are just too much!!
Thanks so much for the chuckles today.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2005-05-02 05:20 PM


LOL
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
7 posted 2005-05-03 07:47 AM


Well yassee Bally...there was this test tube, some sugar, some Einstein brain cells, some Don Juan genes, a little Bruce Lee speed, some DNA from "Big John Holmes", some cell material from Elvis Presley's vocal cords......., and, sadly, a little hair from a horse's ass.....all mixed together..they wrapped this recipe up in a "Rag"....shook it real hard...and POOF!...out game this gorgeous child, with a fine linen cloth around one Toe.....and, well, you (and Paul Harvey), know the rest of the story....
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2005-05-03 09:19 AM


Toe..."game" indeed...always up for one...and I'll let 'Deer take it from there...

Mike?  You rascal...good job!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2005-05-03 09:26 AM


LOL, you guys never put the boxing gloves down, do you?
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2005-05-03 09:28 AM


hehehhee, you guys are hysterical...loved the poem, and Toe's reply...

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
11 posted 2005-05-03 09:54 PM


he called his verse free
cause he knew that WE
wouldn't pay two cents for it..



toerags aren't invented -- you just grab them out of the laundry...


suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2005-05-04 04:21 PM


LOL... Smiles all the way through... it's good to see you guys at it again! *S*
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
13 posted 2005-05-21 07:22 AM


This is a wonderful poem, 'Deer.  Almost as good as Toerag's effort.
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