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Open Poetry #35
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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a

0 posted 2005-04-29 11:31 AM


I invented automobiles
Advised old Henry Ford,
"Build yourself an assembly line,
Your production rate will soar."

Then I taught old Elvis,
How to sing in "highs and lows"
He made a zillion dollars,
With gospel-rock and roll.

I'm the guy to credit,
For indoor plumbing too,
No freezing in an outhouse
(Just flush it when you're through)

I can't take all the credit,
This I must confess,
Because I stayed-just last night,
At Holiday-Inn Express!

(I didn't invent the internet,
I just use it-nothing more,
Give credit to-where credit's due,
To our buddy Albert Gore).

© Copyright 2005 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2005-04-29 11:34 AM


ah Toeman....no one makes me smile quit the way you do!  So good to see you here!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2005-04-29 11:36 AM





Watching too many commercials, Toe!

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
3 posted 2005-04-29 11:53 AM


Toerag, I've god bad news for you:
Though it makes work a breeze,
The Assembly Line's responsible for
Repetitive stress injuries,

And Elvis died long, long ago
Along with Rock and Roll,
Although it had a modest "high,"
I think it's hit a "low."

My indoor plumbing is a joke:
It clogs and leaks, you see.
I'd rather do it in the woods
With nature's company.

But I've got good news just as well,
I'll leave you this assurance:
I just saved quite a bit of money
On my car insurance.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2005-04-29 12:39 PM


ROFL... thank you, guys... I needed the grins today... and got a double dose. *S*
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2005-04-29 12:48 PM


Toerag
Your inventions are a paradise
I think I'll have another slice.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
6 posted 2005-04-29 01:02 PM


Toerag,

   Your modesty overwhelms me.  You deserve so much more credit!   Love your humor, Sir Toe.  Thanks for the chuckle.

             miscellanea

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
7 posted 2005-04-29 01:24 PM


Toe,
Weisenheimer is more like it! Funny boy...

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2005-04-29 02:30 PM


Oh golly -- wit is such a rare commodity these days....thanx for the grins, Toe!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
9 posted 2005-04-29 02:47 PM


*giggles*

S

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
10 posted 2005-04-29 03:38 PM


Local Parasite,
Though badnews is the norm,
Assembly lines are common
It's seen in all the porn.

Take "Debbie Doin' Dallas,
The guys lined up in rows,
Made the perfect plot,
To make the story flow.

Now if you're having problems,
With plumbing I brought to fame,
Call Roto Rooter right away,
Quit the laxatives today!

[This message has been edited by Toerag (04-29-2005 05:36 PM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2005-04-29 04:24 PM


old and wise you are
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2005-04-29 04:39 PM


You two have given me the hiccups I have laughed so hard!!
Thanks...I needed this today.
Hugs~Nancy

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
13 posted 2005-04-29 08:49 PM


When I grow up I sure hope I am as smart as you - and just as silly.     Cute!
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
14 posted 2005-04-29 10:04 PM


ROFL ! Ah, Toe...silly boy!! hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
15 posted 2005-04-30 08:19 AM


Like I always said, Toe, you are a true American Idle...
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
16 posted 2005-04-30 08:38 AM


ToeMan~
Complete *giggle-schmiggles* you give me this morning~
This entire thread is a hoot~

LOL LOL LOL

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
17 posted 2005-04-30 09:12 AM


~smiling~ at you guys

hope you are feeling well...
M

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

18 posted 2005-05-02 06:13 AM


Love your sense of humor, congenial personality, with the ability to find humor in all things...exceptional!!!  The poem Toe, the poem...hehehe, actually, you to...
Hugs and thanks for sharing

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
19 posted 2005-05-02 06:38 AM


Thanks for the grins, Toe (and LP too)! I do believe a smile was just what I needed this morning.

Best wishes,
/Kit

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
20 posted 2005-05-02 09:51 AM


lol...

Toe   

love you and your "old, wise" self..

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
21 posted 2005-05-21 07:31 AM


And Toe invented poetry,
Though you'll never hear him admit it
Unless he steals one of mine
By saying it was him who writ it.

But he's a prince of a guy
I'd say he invented class
He's loyal to all his friends
If you're not, he'll kick your....

Hey Toe...


latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
22 posted 2005-05-21 10:13 AM


You awaken everyone's funy bone from a deep sleep.Thanks for the wake up call. marty
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
23 posted 2005-05-21 10:13 AM


You awaken everyone's funny bone from a deep sleep.Thanks for the wake up call. marty
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