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Open Poetry #35
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Aleta
Member
since 2005-04-17
Posts 102
Louisiana

0 posted 2005-04-24 11:11 AM



Time Captured


Precious, the time together
There it remains on the wall
Cased in solid oak, softened
By graceful arch bonnet trim

Serpentine hands caressing
A crème colored face
But cherished minutes are frozen
In a glance, not there rather

Below on a pendulum swing in
Beats per hour the clock designed to
Make Westminister chimes
No more create past this morning seven

Delicate scrollwork motionless
On an arc suspended in a fall
Cast in golden shades inside the circle
Curtains blowing in the breeze

And there, naked linked arm to arm
Greeting the morn in her splendor
In mountain snow-capped serenity
Reflections hugging, no seconds escape

Duration of an endless snuggle
Cocooned in a warm blanket
Mirrored moment on a balcony
No alarm clock, time caught to the brim
On a solid upward stroke


© Copyright 2005 Aleta - All Rights Reserved
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
1 posted 2005-04-24 11:21 AM


Time LIVED, and you share this precious awareness very beautifully.

Love, Margherita

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2005-04-24 11:26 AM


How beautiful this is!!
For a moment time stood still.
As I was reading, I found myself holding my breath...
Wondeful write.
Hugs~Nancy

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
3 posted 2005-04-24 11:27 AM


Aleta,

  Amazing poetry!  I love your metaphoric description.  This is such a gentle write...  I look forward to reading more of your poetry.

          miscellanea

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2005-04-24 11:29 AM


Aleta

"Duration of an endless snuggle
Cocooned in a warm blanket
Mirrored moment on a balcony
No alarm clock, time caught to the brim
On a solid upward stroke"

All of it is beauty overlapping more beauty, but the last lines perfectly closed the poem and caused me to remember capturing time myself...thank you.

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

5 posted 2005-04-24 11:43 AM


Really nice feeling from your words

Dave

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2005-04-24 01:32 PM


This is beautiful !! hugs, Chris

Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance.
~Carl Sandburg

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2005-04-24 03:26 PM


well done!
Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
8 posted 2005-04-24 05:14 PM


Wonderful imagery throughout this fine piece of writing.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2005-04-24 05:26 PM


Duration of an endless snuggle
Cocooned in a warm blanket
Mirrored moment on a balcony
No alarm clock, time caught to the brim
On a solid upward stroke


Martie's right...the last lines close the poem perfectly.

Enjoyed the imagery.

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2005-04-24 08:43 PM


Delicate lace of warm, this is.  

Enjoyed it very much, Aleta.

adagio
Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449
Marrero, La.
11 posted 2005-04-25 05:21 PM


Great poem.Loveley images brought to mind.


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2005-04-25 08:35 PM


AletaMyFriend~
Am I ever grateful that you are here with us~

This is just a smidgen of the beauty of you~

Florida *sighs* at the very loveliness of this~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2005-04-26 07:53 PM


good read
Kevo
Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466
Navarro County, Texas, USA
14 posted 2005-04-27 11:57 PM


Wow!  What an incredible write!  I was blown away!  My jaw is still on the floor.  It was such a visually engaging, sweeping poem.  I will be looking for more.  Words simply fail me.  This would fit well in my top ten list.  It's one of those, "I wish I'd wrote it" poems.  Amazing...

Kevin

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2005-04-28 01:07 PM


time captured... and breath stops... Mine did as I read... this is absolutely beautiful! *S*
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

16 posted 2005-04-28 01:08 PM


Wow, you have captured the moment perfectly with these vivid images!  Well done!
Dautz Write
Member
since 2004-11-16
Posts 96

17 posted 2005-04-28 01:53 PM


written with such grace and skill

       ~Dautz

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