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Open Poetry #35
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2005-04-24 12:25 PM



Never thought that i had trespassed
now this sorrow, as i've been forsaken,

never felt to be intrusion
as i came upon your heart, untaken

never came with expectations
but you offered sweet salvation,

from these storms that ring my path
so i clung to love's insinuation,

now i look at signals tossed
and ache to catch the interception,

but deep inside the sober stings,
as you've buried me,
without the slightest hesitation.


© Copyright 2005 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2005-04-24 07:40 AM


inkedgoddess
What a lovely dance.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2005-04-24 07:55 AM


never came with expectation
but you offered sweet salvation,



This gift can't be taken from you, I believe. But still you hurt.

You write so intensely of the heart's emotions, dear beautiful poetess Michele!

Love and hugs.
Margherita


ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
3 posted 2005-04-24 09:15 AM


i paticularly like your use of the small "i" in this poem, Inky...It is a good touch, that adds to the poems appeal and story line..

What it does is bring your reader closer, on a more personal level...without having to beg their attention....

Frost says it better than i can...

"*So small am i as an attention beggar.
The letter you will find me subscript to
Is neither alpha, eta, nor omega,
But upsilon which is the Greek for you."

(* Iota Subscript, Robert Frost)


Nice compact outline of subject matter...


----------ice/ford
   ><>

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

4 posted 2005-04-24 02:25 PM


Talent is as talent is

Dave

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2005-04-24 03:21 PM


excellent piece
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2005-04-24 03:24 PM


Wonderful write Michele..much enjoyed as always.
Hugs~Nancy

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2005-04-24 05:24 PM


Felt the heaviness in heart here.

and i beleive you can take it

great work

M

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
8 posted 2005-04-24 09:41 PM


thanks kids for stopping in and giving your well appreciated thoughts
bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
9 posted 2005-04-26 02:47 AM


giving it to you....
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
10 posted 2005-04-27 09:17 AM


This poem is much deeper than it seems at first glance....a characteristic that most of your poetry shares....

I can understand the wretched feelings....but refuse? You? Not ever!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2005-04-27 10:48 AM


nicely penned work, this is ...

regards
sudhir

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