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Open Poetry #35
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2005-04-22 09:53 AM


She lies still
When morning has yet to cross the divide
Between the hands of stars
Grasping at light in a sky swallowed
By the shadows of eternity
And the split of a new sun
Halved as it is into meridians
That demarcate only the sweep of hands
That touch nothing but our minds

Her skin still bears the smooth reflection
Of those efforts we make to chase away
What we can’t see or touch
While she breathes a subtle fog
To cloak the naked swell

Yet I see only the gash of stone
Surrounding her with chiseled face stern
And the black seam of rotten coal
That smiles slightly as it erodes
A tumbled crumble of loess
Out of place in such warm climes

But for the way she herself
Has added to the cold

I think of us at such times
As we have in a grin of ways
Laughed at the everyday passing wind
Ignoring the way even stone burns

Then let my mind play along
Dark carbon seams
Still waiting below

As she lies
Still in a silence of ages past
And I forget to dream


© Copyright 2005 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2005-04-22 09:57 AM


oh..

damn...

Ron, it is so good to read your words again m'friend...
this is, I don't even have a word for this...

so descriptive and full of imagery,
the way you lay it out and draw us so deeply into the read, that we don't want it to end..

you make magic with words sir...

thank you.

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2005-04-22 09:59 AM


wow!

I love this!

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2005-04-22 10:33 AM


DANG !!
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
4 posted 2005-04-22 10:46 AM


"Her skin still bears the smooth reflection
Of those efforts we make to chase away
What we can’t see or touch
While she breathes a subtle fog
To cloak the naked swell"

You have such a talent for blending nature/elements and flesh/emotion...

I need a new binder..  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2005-04-22 11:02 AM


Reading you is like listening to the winds of the Greeks/Romans, they were so passionate, so descriptive...this was truly amazing...touching
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2005-04-22 11:25 AM


Ron

"Laughed at the everyday passing wind
Ignoring the way even stone burns"

You are an original!!  


RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

7 posted 2005-04-22 01:52 PM


"Grasping at light in a sky swallowed..." Perfect!
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
8 posted 2005-04-22 07:24 PM


Ron, you remain one of the major reasons why I consider free verse to be an excellent form of poetry. You make it work and work well....nicely done.
babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
9 posted 2005-04-22 07:59 PM


:::: sigh::::   <-------sappy response....I know...but you can do that to me everytime...

lol

love you, my Chief~

**baby

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2005-04-22 10:05 PM


..May I just say...WOW!!!
You blow me away every time I read you!
Thank you Sir!

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
11 posted 2005-04-22 11:29 PM


stunning - as always - i so enjoy your work

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
12 posted 2005-04-22 11:37 PM


layers upon layers, Capt.; what a brilliant writer you are to depict this as you have.
It's good to read you once again.  

     miscellanea

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2005-04-27 09:06 AM


Had to go back and "dig this one up"...
I was away for a few days, so its
treasures like this that I look forward to
bump back to the top!

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

14 posted 2005-04-27 02:45 PM


am speechless......so...will simply stand up and **applaud**
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