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Open Poetry #35
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2005-04-21 10:21 PM



Lines and walls
and the rain begins
in a mummer's tap,
but you dont hear it,
you don't feel me
as you sodder circles
where my feet once attempted,
and you grow leaves now,
higher than your hearts reflection
that drowns in its sea of seclusion,
.......pitiful girl
i bruise now,
how i paid the price
when i tried to reenter,
the lines became blueprints
i could no longer decipher,
and you offered me no translation,
the walls became steel
which i once could erase,
and i learned too late,
having pushed too hard
i got tossed in the undertow,
losing you to lines and walls,
as i wonder which of us
does the hard time this night?


[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (04-22-2005 12:22 PM).]

© Copyright 2005 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
1 posted 2005-04-21 10:26 PM


Hugging you here Michele. Chris

"The soul that can speak through the eyes can also kiss with a gaze."
Gustavo Adolfo Becquer

Foxyoasis
Senior Member
since 2003-06-10
Posts 974
Atlantic Beach,Fla
2 posted 2005-04-21 10:49 PM


awe *hugs*

Fool me once shame on you.....Fool me twice shame on me.....


Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2005-04-21 11:10 PM


Your pen spills an amazing presentation here - so well done -

Susan

If I wander far enough, long enough, will I finally know . . .

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
4 posted 2005-04-22 01:12 AM




  


  love your way with words~

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2005-04-22 03:29 AM


".......pitiful girl
i bruise now,
how i paid the price
when i tried to reenter,"

~ Some places just aren't worth revisiting.

Sending you big, warm hug,
Linda

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2005-04-22 06:06 AM


"Lines and walls
and the rain begins
in a mummer's tap,
but you dont hear it..."

excellent opening...


"i bruise now,
how i paid the price
when i tried to reenter,
the lines became blueprints
i could no longer decipher.."

excellent middle....

'having pushed too hard
i got tossed in the undertow,
losing you to lines and walls,
though i wonder which of us
does the hard time tonight?"

Excellent ending..

And the other lines never once made the poem slouch...


-----------ice
   ><>

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
7 posted 2005-04-22 07:20 AM


ms inky

when one closes their eyes
who sees the lines

and fingers never read
between the ink and the paper

enjoyed it lady

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2005-04-22 09:42 AM


"and i learned too late,
having pushed too hard
i got tossed in the undertow,
losing you to lines and walls,
as i wonder which of us
does the hard time tonight?"

as hard as it is too learn the hard way...it still beats not learning at all.

I love how you write.     

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2005-04-22 02:03 PM


hugging you for this heart spill..

wonderful writing Mish, as I have come to expect everytime I click on you. Hugs.

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
10 posted 2005-04-23 04:44 PM


enjoyed    
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