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Open Poetry #35
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The Proper Wife
| Open Poetry #35 |
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The Proper Wife |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"You don't love me anymore." I answered, then: "I never did." As if the badge of honesty could make up for the cruelty of pain his eyes would not admit as if that made me less the bitch-- and weave the cotton of my troth stiches in a brow and loss and scars of explanation glib-- "Y'see, it happened, this-a-way--" and interrupted by "like this..." as one of us would take the cue and allow the other's fell like shooting apples William Tell style of one bad marriage. "she doesn't love me anymore." I shrugged and told the judge, "It's true." As if that made it less a stab-- as if I'm less a prostitute. As if the titlement of wife is martyrdom, not suicide as if there is a difference between the lines of hell and hues of heaven aching for a dance but love became a game and that became the lust of the last laugh and rainbows nothing but a bruise in...diminishment. He took an arrow quivering and bent the arc of "this ain't new" pulling on a tired string saying it don't mean a thing zing He missed me by a mile of inches of exhale - I smiled and grabbed the arrow in the air to thrust into my gut despair inbetween the ribs of trust where the heart produces pulse the place that he had never been - I smiled the blood he'd never seen as I said to him: "You win." I died, the proper wife. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (04-21-2005 07:19 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
He missed me by a mile of inches of exhale - I smiled and grabbed the arrow in the air to thrust into my gut despair inbetween the ribs of trust where the heart produces pulse the place that he had never been - I smiled the blood he'd never seen as I said to him: "You win." I died, the proper wife. ~~sighing~~Karen...so sad at times... hugs M |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Love this, not the sad gist of the story line and its implications, but the way the subject is explained in fine poetic form...reminiscent of the confessionals...Sexton, Plath, Olds etc. Well done, Serenity ----------ice/ford ><> |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Mo? a  because ya knowand Ford? oh thank you this was written as a confessional/indictment of my part in a very bad play, so bless you for understanding nod...smile thank you |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
huggin you cuz I've had to act these same lines once upon a time K...  Your flow is perfection lady... how do ya do this??? I really want to care, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
between the lines of hell and hues of heaven aching for a dance but love became a game and that became the lust of the last laugh and rainbows nothing but a bruise in...diminishment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ omg ... ... ... *of the mothy kind* (yaya) I smiled and grabbed the arrow in the air to thrust into my gut despair inbetween the ribs of trust where the heart produces pulse the place that he had never been - I smiled the blood he'd never seen as I said to him: "You win." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ damn ................. you ARE poetry KA ... and this one will be with me for a long time........... (ykikykik) |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
surely paints a picture of what I remember but forget.... sometimes, my friend, it's ok to be the bitch...sometimes, life calls for us, to be the bitch... Hugs to you, this dug deeply... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, Poe's pendulum above your heart Is but a start. And the symbol of the blade Lays in abrade For there is no rim within the sphere Nor will it ever disappear |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"between the lines of hell and hues of heaven aching for a dance but love became a game and that became the lust of the last laugh and rainbows nothing but a bruise in...diminishment." (worth repeating) *shakes head* yep. same. I was so intent on not hurting anyone that I allowed myself to be hurt, over and over again.  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
l#ve the way you word things, just so. awesome. and i remember the day my mom took hold of the arrows and jammed them straight up his..ahem nm |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen This is gripping!  |
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Cloud 9 Senior Member
since 2004-11-05
Posts 980Ca |
I love this. especially with what I am going through. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
He missed me by a mile of inches of exhale - I smiled and grabbed the arrow in the air to thrust into my gut despair inbetween the ribs of trust where the heart produces pulse the place that he had never been - I smiled the blood he'd never seen as I said to him: "You win." I died, the proper wife. i have not the words, ] YOU m'lady are Poetica! mxx "we all have wings, but some of us don't know why" |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this hits hard with ache |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
No point in duplicating what were my favorite parts as JM did that already. It is the WAY you wrote this one, it hits really hard images Karen, and I loved this one! Oh heck ... I loved this: between the lines of hell and hues of heaven aching for a dance but love became a game and that became the lust of the last laugh and rainbows nothing but a bruise in...diminishment. Loved it, lived it, and hated it all at the same time - you wrote it well girlfriend. |
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timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
OMG That is awesome... I just love this stuff... and man, I see (and read) so much of Twist in you, and you in her that its skeery hehe Beautiful and amazing... and wonderfully written Tima |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
No one does it quite like you...You're writing surges into one's mind and heart; it becomes one. And... in doing so, i feel the ache. Hugs, sadie |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
only 1 thing to say...damn girl ...you can write !!! |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
So very sad, but I believe the situation in a lot of cases, love has a very fine line and how many ever find it, good luck to you in your future search. Sincerely Rick |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Another great one from the tiara bearer. I stumbled on to this one by accident, but I am glad that I did. See ya 'round. adagio |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
You know I understand this Karen, maybe not in the exact same context as you have portrayed or lived but here: As if the titlement of wife is martyrdom, not suicide as if there is a difference I surely have been there and I have missed reading you . . . |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
you shoot your whole quiver like Robin Hood... a peircing tome m'lady |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
I'd used a net myself..(wink) as for proper...phuckit enjoyed the read ms karen |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I've been in that play... where the lines keep spewing forth however much you wish intermission would arrive... and the taste of those words lingers for what seems like forever. Incredibly powerful write... |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
I know I replied to this....I know I did...but my name isn't here....sigh...its bad enough to have nothing to say, but when you do finally click a reply and then to have it stolen by the cyber ghosts...sigh... your pain, I do not envy, your muse, I do... mine has gone numb...sigh |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Karen, I feel like all I can say is "Wow" ... but that's not nearly enough to let you know the impact this write slams across the pages with. Brilliant writing, from the concept through to the feelings and ache portrayed. Pauses and hard hitting words in all the right places. Really well done, and one that will stay with me for a long, long time.  Best wishes, /Kit |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
i don't have the words....but know this...or I did...thank God, I haven't for a long long time...(((you still never forget it))) You amaze, but then, I've told you that before |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
~ been there! done that! You said it, sister! Sending a sling and some arrows for you to keep on hand! A woman never knows when she may need them! To keep our edges sharp, the bitch in us is sometimes called for! ~ I just wished I had known that when I was acting in a similar play! EA |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Linda? When they first started calling me "witch" I answered, "Surely you have a lisp..."  And Kit and jb? Always a pleasure to know that you've read. And to anyone else I forgot to thank, someday, I will write happiness again. |
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