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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2005-04-19 05:52 AM

I heard branches
cracking wind
and even under weight
of them--

"Hi, this is Cathy.
I'm not available to take your call right now,
so please leave
a message after the beep."

I heard branches
groaning me
and even under weight
of this--

I said

thank you

for the reeds--

even under weight of it

damn but it felt good

and it's

a miracle upon the end

forgive me

if I call again

"Hi, this is Cathy..."

I

I'm-furious-with-you-again

pissed in fact

pick up the phone

I know that you are listening

as I

hit redial to hear you win

breathless in the marilyn

voice

the one we laughed about

"Hi..." you sighed and mocked the wind:

"This is Cathy"

and because I'm drunk again

I'm burning up the tape of you:

"not available to take your call"

goddamn goddamn

I wish you knew

how it feels to be this way

and yet I know you do

and you

did the same to us

and we

are frightened now

without your calls

begging us to be.

I can't take the silences

I should have kissed your eyes

but they

had already seen too much

so I

simply nodded as

I watched

the final beauty tip:

the zipping up of bodybag

and your little tiny feet

jiggled the last dance

I heard

the phone in ring,

and ring

and ring

and then the sound of answering

listening

machine hook up:

"Hi. This is Cathy..." and

I died a not so simple death

with the sound of you replaced

by zippers and the sobs of us

and I tried to concentrate

on the fountain of our youth

knowing that it was not you

dead

and cold to me...

you'd be -

I heard branches
cracking wind
and even under weight
of them--

"Hi, this is Cathy.
I'm not available to take your call right now,
so please leave
a message after the beep" -

mean like that sometimes.

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

1 posted 2005-04-19 06:01 AM

woa! dont really know what words to respond to this, but wanted to let you
know it was read, and the tension was
felt~

My spirit will rise
above the sea~
There will be no drowning
of my soul or me~

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

2 posted 2005-04-19 06:14 AM

it is human desire to want, what we want, when we what it...this was a poem, I will always remember...there are no words to express my deepest heartfelt prayers and thoughts to you...hugs to you...always remember how amazing you are...Love, Lee J.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2005-04-19 06:37 AM

I'm going to be totally unapologetic about this and simply thank you both for understanding.

I miss her.

terribly...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2005-04-19 07:41 AM

serenity,
It was the crackling of the branch my love.
Next time pick up the phone.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 2005-04-19 07:47 AM

I don't have the words to express how this made me feel.

Sending love and prayers your way

you are always in my thoughts Karen

love you

mxx

"we all have wings, but some of us don't know why"

Michael Hutchence (INXS)

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

6 posted 2005-04-19 07:55 AM

keep writing in the ink of your soul K...

and never apologize...

this is amazing hon..tugs at the heart and tears me up..

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

7 posted 2005-04-19 09:07 AM

Damn Ser..
I wish I could take the pain away for you.
Keep writing it out...this just aches so bad.

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

8 posted 2005-04-19 09:18 AM

hugging you, Ser

K

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

9 posted 2005-04-19 09:23 AM

Karen,
this broke my heart...
there isn't any one line that did it, it was the emotion...all of it...

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

10 posted 2005-04-19 10:53 AM

Karen?...

the tears are flowing...

and I'm hugging you...

I love you, lady...

adagio
Member

since 2005-03-19

Posts 449
Marrero, La.

11 posted 2005-04-19 12:50 PM

Karen...
Sending you my thoughts and tears. don't destroy the tape

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

12 posted 2005-04-19 01:20 PM

Donna wrote the words for me, "keep writing in the ink of your soul K...

and never apologize..."

Linda

ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 727
Wisconsin

13 posted 2005-04-19 02:33 PM

I can only offer my sympathy and a warm hug

to show I'm feeling for you. This one leaves me sort of speachless, with so many things to say that you dont know where to start... stay strong.

HugZ
Brian

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

14 posted 2005-04-19 02:54 PM

Karen

Can you take another hug....you sure have mine!

You know, I confess to something I used to do...and I don't think I've ever told anyone of this. I used to call the number of the house where I grew up...that was before answering machines...but something in me hoped that my mother would answer. Love you, lady!

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

15 posted 2005-04-19 04:57 PM

Serenity....Wow, so touching!
...and a hug.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

16 posted 2005-04-19 05:17 PM

Karen, I had the same experience...

and I called this weekend and got my sister's voice and had to hang up. I know why he keeps it...but I can't respond to it when my brother-in-law doesn't answer.

M

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

17 posted 2005-04-19 07:04 PM

dang K

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

18 posted 2005-04-19 09:04 PM

hugs sis

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

19 posted 2005-04-19 10:46 PM

you brought tears to these eyes.....heart hugsss K.... I understand the emotion and can only hug you......

~~*~~
I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
~~**~~

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

20 posted 2005-04-20 04:55 AM

"pick up the phone

I know that you are listening"

...of course she is listening...

*hug*

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

21 posted 2005-04-20 12:35 PM

wrenching.

As I told M, I did the same thing. I hate that answering machine and love it at the same time.

It's all I have. Wish I could do more.

love you.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

22 posted 2005-04-20 03:16 PM

thank you

and well, I appreciate your patience.

I just like leaving her flowers.

I'll try to make them prettier ones in the future.

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