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Open Poetry #35
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Mechinations
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Mechinations |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
I drive the truck so Boss won't have to he needs to play golf he signs my checks the road is long the sunlight is bright it burns my eyeballs I beat the rush my load ,heavy she's slow to respond burning lots of fuel still on the clock no sleep last night I drove untill four but do what I must they call me man green trees line my path small hills obscure view cars pass me honk horns ignore fatigue sky blue, clouds white radio works-NOT I don't need no map been there before another bridge not to much farther need pass card for gate get it out now no one at gate maybe they don't care heavy stuff inside how can this be? drive on in now unobserved I am awfull stench hits nose this is the place No one around where can they all be? having lunch right now? what about me? in an office railroad tank cars near someone says "park here" "I'll be there soon" cranes are needed earplugs needed too hardhat on my head straps strech and strain lift, lift, stand clear! set an waiting stage get the paper signed now head for shop light says low fuel station just ahead sun now sinking low push foot down hard back at the shop now know what they will say "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG" words I can't stand punch out drive home in my little car woman waits; lonley glad to see me eat my dinner pork chops and some rice take warm bath, relax NOW; I can sleep--- maybe |
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| © Copyright 2005 Ralph Robichaux, Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
...and tomorrow it starts all over again. But it's nice to have someone who loves you, to come home to! ~ and the pork chops and rice sound pretty good to me right now too! lol Sleep well! You've earned it!    EA |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
adagio That's quite a dance. |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Don't really remember waking up that day or driving to work.The first thing I do remember was driving south on hwy. 23 with a huge centrifugal pump strapped to the back of that flat bed. That refinery smelled like a thousand cabbages all cooking in one little room. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You know I like this one (Under the original title, machinations, since it's the proper word usage) but I take note of your constructive critique comment (er...especially since I WROTE it)  But seriously Ralph, this, as it is, is well done. It has potential to be better tho, but I admire very much your stubborn allegiance to heed your own vision of what this should be, since um, most people consider me very persuasive. For being yourself, against the tide of ME--you have my respect. I think the poem needs some work, but I love the concept, the syllable counted format made it rather stilted, but as you know, I thought considering the subject, the stilt was appropriate--and I thought the one-word ending impactful and rather ominous as it displayed a certain non-resolution to a life of schedules (and the poem depicting that) That said, have a hug.  I've been meaner than usual and you survived me yet again dawlin'.  (waving at Leah, to her too) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Ralph, bosses never appreciate what we do, especialy if we've been there for awhile. They take us for granted. I think sometimes...maybe if he could actually see what I do, be there with me at work and go through my day, he'd understand. Mine doesn't play golf; playing hero is what he does best. Hope you got some rest and have better days ahead. |
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adagio Member
since 2005-03-19
Posts 449Marrero, La. |
Some might get the impression that I have some problem with the game of golf. Actually I do not. I hear that playing the game can be quite addictive however. adagio |
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