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Politics Cats
| Open Poetry #35 |
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Politics Cats |
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maximillian Junior Member
since 2003-09-13
Posts 23 |
We're the recycled ashes of our ancestors crumbled societies, Scorned by funneled sound waves of ignorance and youth, Sharpened determination followed by blunted success, Experience scratches at us all like a cats tongue, Although such intentions are good the feeling is...irritable, It must be rid of and learnt from, Learn from we may try, but time tick-by time, The tongue slices at our hands - "yes good cat", Argh! The experience, "but intensions are good", So the Beast is left to attack, and now I sit here - accepting the trauma, I could do something about it, I could use my experience to heave the animal, Or I can let the Beasts Horde scamper me with false love and comforts, spin and politics! Innocent cats purr in the same family as Gladiatorial tigers trained to kill, While behind the allusive and blindingly conspiring red cape, A cat on the edge of tinsel town spins their sword on Coca-Cola consumed ice, All as we dally in political blindness. Centuries do pass and now? Now computer calculations, AK-47 rifles and aging CD players suggest we left history on repeat, oh hiss… |
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| © Copyright 2005 maximillian - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good to see you again |
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maximillian Junior Member
since 2003-09-13
Posts 23 |
Thanks, I've changed my profile - I do encourage constructive critiques if you have any  |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
some wise word there~ some healing words~ some thoughts to ponder on~ humanity and faith can live on~  My spirit will rise |
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Aleta Member
since 2005-04-17
Posts 102Louisiana |
Hello Maximillian, I am far from someone who is qualified to critique, but you did say you were open to constructive criticism, yes? Let me first start by saying that it is my interest and enjoyment of this poem that I offer what little I can and please take from it what you find to be productive and toss the rest, knowing that it is given with good intentions. I loved this line: “Experience scratches at us all like a cats tongue,” Any cat lover (me included) will quickly relate and cringe ever so slightly, knowing the roughness that is associated with the typically thought of endearing action. It was an immediate reaction for me as a reader that you brought this to mind, but then, to follow up what is already known with the experience, “Although such intentions are good the feeling is...irritable”…. To me… as a reader… what you did with that line was repeat the emotions that had already washed over me… but as it is a repeat of the emotion, it took away from the initial feeling, if this makes sense? Mayhap… just a small thought here.. to start it off with that line and carry it through to the point of the texture of such in-between the lines of our history. I don’t know if this is clear or not…. Also, liked this ending: “suggest we left history on repeat, oh hiss..” Kept with the cat theme and the societal implications. As I said from the beginning, enjoyed this! (Forgive me for the rambling thoughts of the cat’s tongue…) |
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