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Passions in Poetry

Bartender

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Huan Yi
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since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


0 posted 04-16-2005 07:17 AM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Huan Yi


With a white smile, the pretty girl—

Tips herself
Into a jar
© Copyright 2005 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
ice
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since 05-17-2003
Posts 3059
Pennsylvania


1 posted 04-16-2005 03:37 PM       View Profile for ice   Email ice   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ice

OK, John, Ya got me on this one....

I am thinking the girl is pretty, with pretty teeth (white smile) and that the "jar" represents her cosmetics?

I am probably miles away from this poems intent, but I just had to ask...

'cause "even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while"...

-----------ice
   ><>
Huan Yi
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since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


2 posted 04-16-2005 03:57 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi


Ice,

You’ve never seen a tip jar
set out on a bar?  (Mo Szlak in
The Simpsons has one).

The interpretation of the meaning
then I leave to you and others, ( I can see
at least two ways of reading it).

(-:
Honeybunch
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since 12-29-2001
Posts 6868
South Africa


3 posted 04-16-2005 04:09 PM       View Profile for Honeybunch   Email Honeybunch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Honeybunch's Home Page   View IP for Honeybunch

Has me a bit baffled too.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


4 posted 04-16-2005 04:17 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

I like it
DavePage
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since 12-21-2003
Posts 2940


5 posted 04-16-2005 05:17 PM       View Profile for DavePage   Email DavePage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DavePage

With a white smile, the pretty girl—

Tips herself
Into a jar

Wanting everything

She smiles

From a jar

Always open

In a mile

She goes far

Seeking images in her mind

In desire

She goes far

Understanding in her mind

In a jar

She doesn't go far

Written more than I meant to Huan Yi

You write excellent words

Dave
yv
Senior Member
since 05-30-2003
Posts 576


6 posted 04-16-2005 06:21 PM       View Profile for yv   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for yv

Wow.  So simplistic yet so full of meaning.  I really felt this one.  It blew me from the second I read it.  It is depressing to me how easily the Beautiful Ones fall from grace as vice and vicarious living ruins their innocence.  Lovely write.

Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent.

Huan Yi
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since 10-12-2004
Posts 6334
Waukegan


7 posted 04-16-2005 09:18 PM       View Profile for Huan Yi   Email Huan Yi   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Huan Yi

yv

“fall from grace”


Very good.  This was the “other”   understanding
I experienced as well  To me it reads like
a senryu in translation where your
choice of mood determines interpretation;
much like the anonymous:

“How long forever
Nineteen nineteen
Of white dancers”

which can be understood as a comic comment
or a lament.

Thanks All for reading.

John


Drauntz
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since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


8 posted 04-30-2007 07:48 PM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz

funny.
selfpity and self proud both can make her into the jar.
 
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