Canoe (word play inspired by Midnitesun)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

0 posted 2005-04-08 04:12 PM

                 Canoe

Capsized
Canoe help him prevail the rushing waters
       before slapped by stones,
Let his hands find  your shining  edge
That he might  breathe the air  trapped within your shell?
Canoe carry him for moment far from rivers tear, and
In your hollow darkness, shield him against
         shimmering midday glare?

Canoe do this for my gasping friend
Give shelter while current passing, share your vital air?

        ~miscee~



****the word play was inspired by Midnitesun in her title, Quilling Me Softly.  Thanks, Midnitesun for your wonderful poem.

   (Also, I credit the canoe sign that I see everyday on my way to work.  It has been toiling with me to write a poem about canoeing...)

            ~miscee

[This message has been edited by miscellanea (04-08-2005 09:09 PM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2005-04-08 04:43 PM

I think it's okay just as it is

enjoyed the inspiration here

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

2 posted 2005-04-08 04:49 PM

Thanks Dixie. Sure appreciate your response. Good to see you again.
miss c

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2005-04-08 04:59 PM

I like this very much... especially the poignant ending... well done! *S*

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

4 posted 2005-04-08 05:07 PM

suthern,
Glad you commented favorably to the ending because it bothered me a bit. I thought it was too poignant until I changed a word. Then,I wondered if that softened it any. Thanks for dropping in. Take care.
~miscee

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

5 posted 2005-04-09 01:47 AM

Sniffing here, and sending you a big hug!
Canoe guess how this made me feel tonight?

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

6 posted 2005-04-09 06:56 AM

Whoops! just capsized and bungled my response!

~~~~~

Midnitesun's poem is an inspiration.

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (04-09-2005 10:53 AM).]

Goodknight
Member Elite

since 2002-06-15

Posts 2386
Ohio, USA

7 posted 2005-04-12 05:37 PM

Great poetry here - thanks to the canoe for its inspiration - you did very well with it - Paul

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

8 posted 2005-04-13 02:47 PM

this must be the day for boo-boos; I see I already posted to this; oh, well--what does it tell me? Stay off the river, or at least, check out the the blue waters first!

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (04-14-2005 06:45 PM).]

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.