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Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2005-04-08 02:07 AM

this is called a Shadorma, it's a Spanish form.
6 lines with a syllable count of 3/5/3/3/7/5, if
anyone is interested in trying it.

*EDIT* i was going for a pause effect with the comma, but i wasn't happy with where i had it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shadorma #1

the invitation

bodyscape scribe;
time written poetry
in the well
of her back
a dark room invitation
replied to, by tongue

©sdt'05

"i close my eyes and gather up the puddle of this life, one teaspoon at a time, into a bucket with holes" ~me an excerpt from "she still sees ugly"

[This message has been edited by Snow (04-08-2005 11:50 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2005-04-08 03:44 AM

cool!

I think I'll pass on trying this though,. you've done it well

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

2 posted 2005-04-08 04:16 AM

Too complex for me...but i enjoyed...

Goldenrose.

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. (William Shakespeare.)

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

3 posted 2005-04-08 11:39 AM

great job with the format and the context!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

4 posted 2005-04-08 11:53 AM

Nice.

I must try that format...

the acceptance

satin scroll;
its bare white incites
tiptoed words
scribe the well
an acceptance of her call
by poet’s tongue replied

CG

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2005-04-08 04:53 PM

I like this very much... smooth and sensual... and yes... poetry can be written many ways. *S*

Thank you for the repeat of the poem without the image... sometimes, my computer laughs in my face when I ask it to load pictures. LOL

Aleta
Member

since 2005-04-17

Posts 102
Louisiana

6 posted 2005-04-18 12:25 PM

So few words, so much said. Beautiful, evocative write. I read this before I was registered and was impressed, so much so ~ that I had to search for it and write a "thank you" for sharing this...

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

7 posted 2005-06-14 11:35 PM

Oh yeaaaahhhhh......

This I will do.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2005-06-16 03:32 PM

Hello everyone

Snow has requested that I leave a "thank you" note on her poetry to all that have read and replied. She is not ignoring anyone...sadly, she cannot post right now.

Snow, you are missed. I do hope you will return soon.

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

9 posted 2005-06-17 03:45 PM

how neet. I actually think I have heard of it before. I can't remember where though

Juju - 1.) a magic charm or fetish 2.)Magic 3.)A taboo connected woth the use of magic

The dictionary never lies.... I am magical (;

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

10 posted 2005-06-17 04:28 PM

Thanks for the info on the Shadorma, Snow. I've catalogued this one into my library so I can study this form for a later attempt! Beautiful piece of art here in all ways!

....jo

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