»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #35
»
The Massive Cholostomy
| Open Poetry #35 |
|
The Massive Cholostomy |
|
|
Jaime Fradera Senior Member
since 2000-11-25
Posts 843Where no tyranny is tolerable |
The Massive Colostomy I take a nap and soon find myself in another world ... I go to a hospital. They say I have a massive colostomy. No, they aren't doing a colostomy. They mean the formation, the object or the growth itself, IS the colostomy! It is about like saying: We found a huge cat scan inside you. That's why you keep landing on your feet. They have an annex for treating pets. The cat scan was invented to scan cats. It use to be they had to skin them first before they scanned them, but now the cat scan is noninvasive. A dog will get a dog scan. Pet hamsters will get ham scans, etc. Just tell them what you're bringing in so they will know which scan to do. They keep telling me how massive the colostomy is. It is really, really MASSIVE! They will try to remove it by a test with electricity. No, they don't mean a diagnostic test. The test itself IS the operation; the test itself IS the surgical tool. It's about as convoluted as saying: we just found a big test inside you. That's why you're always flunking. My friends come to see the test come out. No, not that test, the one by electricity. They strap me in a chair and a doctor makes the test. I receive a violent shock and my friends begin to cheer. It seems the doctor screwed it up. He didn't cholostomize correctly, so another doctor tries. They strap me in a chair, and he tries the cat spectroscopy. I receive another violent shock, and again hear my friends cheer. It seems this doctor screwed up too. He didn't know what he was doing either. So they call in a third doctor. Again, they strap me in the chair. This doctor is trying something different. He's doing the apotheosis test, the one that heals rhinosauri. It works. I receive a mild electric shock and my friends are strangely silent. Maybe I should get a physical? ... ... ... SC Eating is millions of years old. |
||
| © Copyright 2005 The Sun - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
JAIME! What in the world did you eat just before writing this? LOL. The title alone is almost enough to scare a reader away, and yet...humorous at the same time, especially with your own convoluted take on the subject. Hmmm, wondering what those doctors might say or do the next time around. Take two pepto-dismals and sleep in tomorrow. LOL |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The last line is the punch in the gut... When invaded by invasive dreams I try to make sense of them... and it IS a test... Smiling here... Thank you, Jaime! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
