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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2005-04-04 09:22 PM


What?

You ask for faith in thee?

after what you did to me?

You stole away a third of "we"--

pruning too relentlessly

you felled the tree

and then left me

all alone with all of this

these branches of my peopled bliss

the lack

the silence

wordlessness

the prices that we pay

we pray

monotoning pretenses

tell me if it's all a lie

or is that more of mystery

and the faith of mustard seeds

in a resin necklace kept?


Now you go to hell I say

it's your creation anyway

as witnessed by the evidence

of what is left behind

designed

to temper me

as if assigned

pain is for my betterment...

and oh it is convenient

that Job would write a book

and say

God is great and God is good

but I see the shadows of

the seasons as they pass.

I laugh

thinking that she died of Spring

as if it were complicity

hardening my heart.

Y'see?

Faith is something someone prays

whenever someone feels the lack

of the gift of surety

Faith is just another tack

I remove

from my bare foot

dancing on the graves.


© Copyright 2005 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2005-04-04 09:59 PM


I'm sorry...

if anyone takes offense, it's okay with me to remove it.

I'm just so angry...I am sorry.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2005-04-04 10:21 PM


Karen?

....I understand your anger.
It's okay..I know it must hurt so bad.

I love you, Nance

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2005-04-04 10:36 PM


Karen

I understand too....you know I do.  

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2005-04-04 10:37 PM


it's ok m'love, you just write it out.

love you

and i knew in the crystalline knowledge of you
~Buckingham/Nicks

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2005-04-04 11:06 PM


You have every right to vent Karen.
The loss of a loved one strikes deep.
Hugging you, Chrislane

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2005-04-04 11:22 PM


Surely cannot blame you for being angry, Karen.  I am just so sorry for your loss, for your family's loss, for her children's loss.  Sometimes it would make it easier if we could understand the grand plan, wouldn't  it.  I pray for some measure of peace for you and your family and for the hole that's in your hearts to be filled up in time.  I know, no prayers of those kind allowed..... foobahhh... I'm going to pray it anyway.   ....jo
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
7 posted 2005-04-05 04:04 AM


hugs.
take offense? i was cheering you on.give him hell..or rather, give it back.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2005-04-05 06:34 AM



Karen?...

You have nothing to apologize for...

It's real...and it's understandable...

Love you bunches, lady...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2005-04-05 07:11 AM



You have a venue
for your anger
that most people
are denied.

Use it...spew it...
not only we, but He
understands...

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
10 posted 2005-04-05 09:56 AM


Words that I have felt and said more than once. Sis. And speaking of sisters, I must call my younger sister tonight, as I found out Sunday eve that she is 'in remission' and I didn't even know she was being treated! We are not close as you were to your sister. My family, btw, still calls me Kathy, which I changed many years ago to Kacy because it sounded 'stronger' to me than Kathy, at a time when I needed great physical and emotional stamina. Now, I know the name didn't really matter, only my attitude and perspective determined my pathway.
Hugging you, saying there is absolutely nothing offensive in this cathartic write.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2005-04-05 03:46 PM


I have a worthless brother... it shames me to know I share anything with him... I don't think I'd waste my spit if he was on fire. *S*

But in the sibling lottery, I got more than balance for the bro... I won the jackpot. *S* And when I think of losing her I feel "You stole away a third of "we"--" to the very bone.

I envy anyone who doesn't understand this anger... for they've never lost anyone... they've never screamed "WHY????"... they've never known grief.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2005-04-05 05:11 PM


just more hugs

M

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