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Open Poetry #35
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suthern
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since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana

0 posted 2005-04-02 12:09 PM



Suddenly your smile
Beams a light within my heart
Dispelling darkness

© Copyright 2005 suthern - All Rights Reserved
netsky
Member
since 2005-03-29
Posts 148
Miami
1 posted 2005-04-02 01:29 AM


I do so like short poems keenly honed.  This is nice!  Do you feel it is fully optimized?  The last line offers many possiblitities for imaginative metaphor.  It could almost become a "challenge" poem.. if you were to want to see how rich a stage you have set for many other alternate third lines.

neat as it is.  Yes, indeed. thank you.

reid

EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
2 posted 2005-04-02 01:31 AM


I've known this smile, feels great doesn't it!

"A spring shower was cause to run
Until you twirled me in the rain" ~ BDC

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2005-04-02 08:11 PM


suthern
Yes you do that every time I read you.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2005-04-02 08:38 PM


*smiling at Sys astute reply...
and at the smile in your words.

It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away.


SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
5 posted 2005-04-02 08:43 PM


It's nice to have someone, who can do that.
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
6 posted 2005-04-02 08:44 PM


Belle, and you in turn, beamed light out into the world with your lovely senryu!

Love & Light,
Linda


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2005-04-02 08:46 PM


Beautiful!!
Much enjoyed this one!
Hugs~N

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

8 posted 2005-04-04 04:33 PM


Beautiful!

Eric

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
9 posted 2005-04-05 01:41 AM


You shed the softest light, suthern.
Enjoyed, muchly~

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 2005-04-05 09:13 AM


netsky: Thank you very much! *S*

EagleOne: That it does, my friend... that it does. *S* Thank you!!

Seymour: You dear! *S* Thank you so much!

JM: Thank you so much, dear lady. *S*

SmartChick: Yes... it is. *S* Thank you! *S*

EA: Big hugs to you for that, my friend... thank you! *S*

Enchantress: Thank you very much! *S*

Ericc: Thank you so much! *S*

Bluesy: What a lovely thing to say... thank you! *S*

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2005-04-05 09:22 AM


Now here's a picture to take through the day....and I think I will!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

12 posted 2005-04-05 09:25 AM


WHOO-HOO love this gal!  PERFECT!

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
13 posted 2005-04-05 04:15 PM


Wooooooowwwww!  The perfect harmony in word and thought!  Sounds like love is in the air!  I think I'll shelf this one for a smile on a rainy day!  Many thanks.

               miscellanea

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
14 posted 2005-04-05 04:56 PM


"funny" how that works
M

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2005-04-06 10:15 AM


Ratleader: You're the master of senyru/haiku... so your words mean a lot to me. Thank you! *S*

GS: Thank you so much, kind lady! *S*

miscellanea: Your response gave me a smile that's greatly appreciated even though it isn't raining yet. *S* Thank you!!!

nakdthoughts: Yes... it is. *S* Thank you!!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
16 posted 2005-04-06 11:18 AM


suthern

Isn't it funny how such a simple thing has such a profound effect...the same is true of your poem.  

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

17 posted 2005-04-06 12:49 PM


your beautiful words, reflect the perfect day...especially the title, loved this....
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
18 posted 2005-04-06 02:59 PM


A smile is the most precious thing on earth no matter whether given or received which is probably why babies smile before they can talk.  May you always enjoy the light!
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