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Open Poetry #35
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JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA

0 posted 2005-03-30 01:59 PM


My Heart Unseen

My heart, as a metronome,
hidden,
in a cardboard box.
Its clicking pendulum rhythm
pacing time’s clock.
Unable to censor a last click,
or to suspend the next tock…

Listening to the rhythm
hidden in a cardboard box…

Clicking:
Tick-tock
Tick-tock…

My heart
unseen in a cardboard box…





© Copyright 2005 JL - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2005-03-30 02:08 PM


Unable to censor a last click,
or to suspend the next tock…

Listening to the rhythm
hidden in a cardboard box…

~*~

Yes...and when one really pays attention
to the click clock tick...the space in-
between, the vast space of silence in-
between...can be so loud sometimes...

I enjoyed this one very much, JL

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
2 posted 2005-03-30 02:15 PM


Surely we all take heart, but I doubt we keep the same rhythm.  
It's a private matter,  as your title conveys.

Enjoyed, JL~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2005-03-30 02:18 PM


Well done...very much enjoyed!
Hugs~Nancy

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2005-03-30 03:15 PM


I liked the virtual tour, through your words...wonderfully written...


miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2005-03-30 03:24 PM


Unable to censor a last click,
or to suspend the next tock…

Listening to the rhythm
hidden in a cardboard box

Who knows when the gears are menat stop or what is hidden in a box?  Really like your thinking and poem,

           miscee

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2005-03-30 03:30 PM


JL

I think that I've glimpsed parts of your heart, in your poetry.  Enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme in this one.  

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2005-03-30 03:38 PM


Your heart shows in your words. Very well done.

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
8 posted 2005-03-30 05:01 PM


I have seen your heart through your poetry ~ and it is a beautiful one.

I felt the cadence of your heart...


EA

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