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JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

0 posted 2005-03-30 01:59 PM

My Heart Unseen

My heart, as a metronome,
hidden,
in a cardboard box.
Its clicking pendulum rhythm
pacing time’s clock.
Unable to censor a last click,
or to suspend the next tock…

Listening to the rhythm
hidden in a cardboard box…

Clicking:
Tick-tock
Tick-tock…

My heart
unseen in a cardboard box…

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2005-03-30 02:08 PM

Unable to censor a last click,
or to suspend the next tock…

Listening to the rhythm
hidden in a cardboard box…

~*~

Yes...and when one really pays attention
to the click clock tick...the space in-
between, the vast space of silence in-
between...can be so loud sometimes...

I enjoyed this one very much, JL

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

2 posted 2005-03-30 02:15 PM

Surely we all take heart, but I doubt we keep the same rhythm.
It's a private matter, as your title conveys.

Enjoyed, JL~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2005-03-30 02:18 PM

Well done...very much enjoyed!
Hugs~Nancy

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

4 posted 2005-03-30 03:15 PM

I liked the virtual tour, through your words...wonderfully written...

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

5 posted 2005-03-30 03:24 PM

Unable to censor a last click,
or to suspend the next tock…

Listening to the rhythm
hidden in a cardboard box

Who knows when the gears are menat stop or what is hidden in a box? Really like your thinking and poem,

miscee

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

6 posted 2005-03-30 03:30 PM

JL

I think that I've glimpsed parts of your heart, in your poetry. Enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme in this one.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

7 posted 2005-03-30 03:38 PM

Your heart shows in your words. Very well done.

I really want to care,
I want to feel something,
let me dig a little deeper
nah, still nothing~
my give a DAMN is busted. Jodee

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

8 posted 2005-03-30 05:01 PM

I have seen your heart through your poetry ~ and it is a beautiful one.

I felt the cadence of your heart...

EA

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